Judge, 1905-07-15 · page 13 of 16
Judge — July 15, 1905 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, not political satire. It contains multiple product ads (Old Crow Rye whiskey, Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, Magnolia Hotel, Milo cigarettes, Cook's Champagne) interspersed with filler content. The only substantive editorial content is a brief humor section titled "LIKE OLD TIMES," which reprints a comically vicious small-town newspaper feud between two Oregon papers (the *Sentinel* and *News*). The satire mocks how rural editors resort to personal insults rather than substantive argument—calling each other "ignoramus," "hyena," and "fools." The "VACATION WISDOM" section offers light, punny aphorisms ("Never too old to burn"). There's also an extended cigar-manufacturer's pitch attempting to overcome customer skepticism about mail-order quality. The page reflects early 20th-century *Judge* magazine's mix of advertising revenue and light editorial content, with no significant political commentary visible.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ASK FOR and see that you get OLD CROW RYE Sold everywhere in bottles. Never sold in bulk. Blue Ribbon The Beer of Quality Produces strength, like any good food. UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT The New Magnolia MAGNOLIA: MASSACHUSETTS trom Beaton, Te has many peivate ba drives and a rare combination CHARLES H. MO’ LIKE OLD TIMES. Up in Bickleton, Oregon, theentente cor- diale between the Sentinel and the News is in danger of disappearing, according to the following paragraph from the latter paper: “The ignoramus and howling hyena that tries to run the Sentinel is still turning his venomous tongue loose on the editor of the News, but every per- son in the county knows his small nature and are acquainted with his idiotic say- ings and doings, and it is needless to say that each article of his lands him deeper in the mire and shows him up to ridicule, but he has not sense enough to beat a retreat—but such is the way of some fools . . . He lets a hyena how! out of him about us going into private matters. Ye gods, the audacity of some fools! Is his mind so weak that he has already forgotten who started this controversy ? We gave him all the chance in the world not to get personal, but he still persists in this—the only way he can conduct an argument, his mind being too weak to do otherwise than ge* mean, and we have decided to give you a taste of your own medicine, and we stand ready to back up every assertion we make i hape or manner you prefer."— Zhe Argonaut, With men of affairs Abbott's Angostura Tite ters are the great aid to digestion. They are recommended by leading physicians. All druggists. VACATION WISDOM. Never too oli! to burn. Give the landlord his uo. He that hesitates goes to the same old place. The bride goeth before them all. Uneasy lies the neck that wears the brown. You can lead a girl to the water, but you can’t make her swim. As well be charged for mutton as lamb. One touch of nature makes the whole world’s skin peel off. Alll are not galled and blistered. Bath-robes cover a multitude of thins, —Newark News. Sohmer & Co., the great Piano firm, can point with pride to the magnificent indorse- ment their instruments have received at the hands of the best native and foreign musical artists. TOILET POWDER. Tie fl ® e i Fr | i ney fi ag, I wish that I could meet, face to face, every man who reads this advertisement, and who thinks: ‘I would like to try that, but there must be a colored gentleman in the woodpile somewhere ”"—or turns it aside with a shrug that says: ‘‘ Nonsense, it can’t be done.” Fortunately, a few respond. these remain customers of mine. Could I talk it over face to face, I could tell them. something interesting about cigars. Could I take them through my factory and show how my cigars are made, of what they are made, and incidentally dissect a few cigars of other makes, these doubting ones would become customers, My business is manufacturing cigars. I sell the entire product of my factory direct to smokers, by the hundred and thousand, at wholesale prices. It costs me something to sell a man his first hundred ; after that, he orders of his own volition, Every cigar I sell is made in my factory. Ihave standing orders for thousands of cigars, from all quarters of the United States, to be shipped on given days of the month as they come around. Still other thousands are sent to men, who order and re-order in lots of one hundred to one thousand. Not one of these men ever heard of me excepting through my business. My cigars must sell themselves. MY OFFER IS: I will, upon request, ship one hundred Shivers’ Panetela ci- gars to any Jupce reader, all express charges prepaid. He may smoke ten and return the remaining ninety, at my ex- pense, if he is not pleased. If satisfied and he keeps the cigars, of course he agrees to remit the price—$5.co—for them within ten days. This applies also to subsequent orders, I simply want to give the cigars a chance to sell themselves. The vast majority of In ordering, please state whether mild, medium, or strong cigars are desired. My claim is that the equal of my Panctela cigars, which I sell fat $5.00 a hundred, is rot retailed anywhere for less than ten cents straight, and that no other cigar in the world is sold to the consumer at a price so near the actual cost of manufacture. My customers are bankers, merchants, manu- facturers, lawyers, physicians, clergymen—men who would not buy my cigars at any price unless they were actually geod. Another fact, every visitor to my factory buys cigars. There are no discounts to dealers or clubs. I cannot afford to make a discount on any quantity. I can only hope to succeed by giving my customers a much better cigar than they can pro- cure in any other way at or near the same price. And I du. In ordering, please use business letter-head or inclose business card ; also state whether strong, medium, or mild cigars are desired, Think a moment of the risk I take to make a customer—one- tenth of my cigars (all of them, should some unworthy take advantage of me), and expressage both ways. How can a smoker refuse to try my cigars? Where is the possible risk to him ?— Provided, of course, that $5.00 per hundred is not a higher price than he cares to pay. Write me if you smoke. ‘Address + Hersert D, Suivers, 919 Filbert Street, Philadelphia, Pa. The Cigarette Egyptian c 4 CHAMPAGNE Is second to no Champagne the world. It is half the price of foreign makes, because there no duty or ship freight to pay on this American made Champagne, GERVED EVERYWHERE AMERICAN WINE CO., 8T. LOUIS. &F Quality AROMATIC DELICACY— MILDNESS— PURITY will get more prompt attention and better service Honing JoDcE when answering advertisements. comicbooks.com