Judge — July 15, 1905 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| MAN’S CRUDE WAY. With shame be it confessed that much of the trouble that blasts the domestic hearth and rips asun- der the conjugal tie is blamable to the crude, blundering way of men with th: wonen folk, Now and then in the re- tiracy of the home-tryst a man, by way of correction or reproof, undertakes to he funny with his wife, to guide her into} the right path by a “jolly,” and of all the pathetic and. tragic things in the world this easily takes’ first place. At such tines male man simply makes a fool of| himself. His cleverness is nothing more than the lumbering sprightliness of the elephant, the gay and sportive jollity of the merry hippopotamus. Why, the very assumption of gayety is in itself an insult tothe average woman, so that the pro- ceeding has not even the advantage of a friendly armistice to begin with. Consider the case of a pair whose woes have lately come to the attention of the public. He carried sev- UST CONSIDER] eral sticks of dynamite THIS CASE. | home, and then for fear they would get wet if he left them outside, he took them in the house Now, a woman gets panicky when she sees dynamite entering } r happy home. And here is where this man got funny. He thought he'd show his wife how foolish were her fears and how safe dynamite is when you know your dyna- mite. Further to accentuate the joke, and because it would be as safe there as it could be anywhere, he put the dyna- mite under the pillow of their bed. Now, that was a man's idea of a joke. It was so funny that he got gay. True, the ex- plosive didn't go off, but the madam did. She went off the handle, she went off ver feed, being unable to eat supper because of fright. She finally went off the prem- PRICKLY HEAT-CHAFING quickly cured by Packer's Tar Soap Pure as the Pines Relieves Sunburn, Bites, Stings, etc, like magic. SOOTHING - HEALING - ANTISEPTIC ‘The Packer Mfz. Co, New York, Mrs. Blinks—"Yes, my husband is studying Russian now.” Mrs. Bjinks—* Well, that accounts for it. I noticed the other day that he had lost his three front teeth."—Somerrille Journal. HENRY LINDENMEY & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER ises, She went off and got a policeman and had the joker jailed. Speaking of practical jokes, there is a young benedict at this moment going up and down the earth with | THE BEST | blood in his eye, seeking JOKE EVER. | whom he may devour, because two chums played “the best ever” on him. It was the date of his wedding, and on some pretext or other the chums got him to row over to an island in the river, and then they managed to give him the stip and left him there. By swimming the river he succeeded in keeping his nuptial engagement, but the joke hasn't dawned onhim yet. A curly-haired young chump we once knew was en‘ertained over Sun- day at a country house. He took with him a splendid Newfoundland dog. In the house was a long hall, and, coming in late from a walk with the delicate young daughter of the house, this curly-haired joker sat down on the floor in the hall at a turn where he knew the girl would put out her hands to feel her way in the dark. The joke would be in having her run her hand into his mop of hair. Now, it seems the girl had a horror of dogs, and the big Newfoundland had put her nerves on edge. She groped her way through the hall, placed her hand square on the head of the curly-haired idiot squatting at the turn of the hall, thought she had run into the dog and fainted. She did not recover from the shock for nearly two years. COMES A TIME WHEN COFFEE SHOWS WHAT IT HAS. BEEN DOING, “Of late years coffee has disagreed with me,” writes a. matron from Rome, N.Y., “its lightest punishment was to make me ‘ logy * and dizzy, and it seemed to thicken up my blood. |. “The heaviest was when it upset my stomach completely, destroying my ap- petite and making me nervous and irri- table, and sent me to my bed. After one of these attacks, in which I nearly lost my life, I concluded to quit and try Post- um Food Coffee. “It went right to the spot ! not only a most palatable and refreshin; beverage, but a food as well. “All my ailments, the + loginess* and dizziness, the unsatisfactory condition of| my blood, my nervousness and irritability disappeared in short order and my sorely afflicted stomach began quickly to re- cover. I began to rebuild and have stead- ily continued until now. Have a good appetite and am rejoicing in sound health, which I owe to the use of Postum Food | Coffee." Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. There's a reason. Read the little book “The Road to Wellville,” found in each package. I found it 8) Ifa man WANTS to save as strongly as he NEEDS to save, he wiil find a way todo it. The wise adopt the best way— through an endowment policy. PENN MUTUAL LIFE, SELF-ANSWERED, We have often thought how nice it would be if examiners in schools would ask automatic back-action questions that would not require too much of the stu- dents—like these : 1, Watt was the name of the inventor of the steam-engine ? 2. Ware was the terminus of John Gil- pin’s famous ride? 4, Witch craft was persecuted by the puritans of New England ? 5. Wye is a river running in Wessex, England ? 6. The inventor of the sewing-machine is called Howe? 7. If Sir Walter Scott's dog was worth unds, what was his novel Kenil- worth ?— Washington Life. The first thing in the mor:ing. if you need a bracer, should be a tibiespoonful pf Abbott's Angustura Bitters in an ounce of sherry or a glass of soda, Try it PEROXIDE. Tom—" How was Miss Gidday, that pretty bri vhen you saw her last :” Dick— 3 Eh? She wasn’t what ?" ‘A brunette.”— Catholic Stand- ard and Times. Entertains Everyone Everywhere Evans’ Ale Easy to get Easy to serve Crown Corks. SOME REMARKS: Too many of us lose time in finding fault, Even a kindergarten kid can spell eel with ease. Many a man has acquired a headache from butting in. Some fellows would indulge in hot air even in a cold-storage warehouse. - Phil: adelphia Record. THE SYSTEM'S LIMITATION. Upandown—Is there no simple way to produce sleep Knowitall—" Sure. Just begin and count one, two, three, and on until sleep comes.” Upandown—" Yes, but one, two, three is as far as the baby can count.” FROM AN EXCHANGE. Notice—The person that took them tools out of the new house on Rural avenue on Sunday last will save trouble by returning them, as the lady that was at the pump for water knows him and the dog that was with him, M. A. Loser. Coates’ Original Plymouth Gin PURE—DRY, Flavor Unequaled. The Standard for 200 Years. Best for Rickey, High Ball or Fizz. The only genuine has the MONK on the label, New York and Kentucky Co. : You CAN MAKE MONEY By reading Jasper’s Hints to Money-makers. Published every week in LESLIE’ WEEKLY. Ask your news- dealer for a copy of LESLIE'S WEEKLY. Price ten cents. Fourth of July Number E ried out to the letter. and the timely letterpress, pages of cash advertising. XAMINATION of this issue, dated July 8th, will show that every promise made in advance was car- In addition to the colored cartoons it carried incidentally nine Any of our advertising friends who may have missed this number may have a specimen copy on request. JUDGE COMPANY, 225 Fo 921-3-5 Chestnut St., Philadelphia, urth Ave., New York City. Morning, Noon and Night Fast Trains to The West—Via NEW YORK CENTRAL.