Judge, 1905-07-08 · page 7 of 20
Judge — July 8, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects humorous sketches and satirical poems typical of late 19th-century American humor. Key content includes: **"The Professor Proposes"**: A romantic poem parodying sentimental verse, mocking flowery marriage proposals through exaggerated language. **"Why He Felt Better"**: A joke satirizing hypocrisy—a churchgoer feels good after passing counterfeit money to the Black janitor, exposing racist attitudes and moral corruption. **"Honorable Henry Leatherlungs's Glorious Climax"**: Political satire mocking windy political speeches, where a politician's grand conclusion is literally drowned out by explosive noises, suggesting empty rhetoric. **"Could Furnish Partial Data"**: A crude racial joke playing on stereotypes about Black men's ignorance. **"No Room to Do Otherwise"**: A mild joke about apartment living constraints. The page reflects period attitudes including casual racism, anticlericalism, and skepticism toward political bombast—typical of Judge's satirical agenda.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
=— SS i Buzzarp BiLi—'‘ I understood you cowskinners wuz goin’ to scoop out the hotel.”* Parriors—"* Program 's changed—there wuz a kid in thar with a cannon cracker.”* THE PROFESSOR PROPOSES. (With apologies to Fila Wheeler Wilcox.) MY DEAR=amy darn y You drive me somewhat mad ; as it were— Your features, now I stop to think, Are really far from bad. You wake in me, to a large extent, The passion classed as k Would you permit—con ‘That I should term you Weighing the When all is said and done Is there good reasoy, so to speak, Why we two should be ¢ ter pro and con— WHY HE FELT BETTER. Ethel“ Now, father, don't you really feel better after going to church this morning ?” Her father “1 should think I did. I passed on the African missionary fund a counterfeit dollar that nigger janitor of ours stuck me with last week.” TOO SOON TO TELL. +4 PID the story end happily ?” “1 don’t know; there was a marriage in the last chapter.” CONTRADICTED. “ Hoorah for the Fourth of July! Hoorah!"* Said Dick with a glad, ringing cry. And_Oscar replied, in a way that was rude, “This ain't the Fourth of—you lie!” BY WAY OF A REST. THE tailor that T'm owing seems to be sonable in his demands, a throng Of dunning letters he has sent tomy Insisting that my bill has run too long. And yet he wrathy grew when, with a wink, I said to him, and could: “If my account has run too long, Take my advice and let it stand a wh ROY VARRELL GREENE. COULD FURNISH PARTIAL DATA. Mr, Johnson —« Hello, Sambo! What can I do for you to-d Sambo—" {wants a Johnson.” Mr. Fohnson—* Very well, Sambo. Do you know what size trousers you wear ?” Sambo. w, sir; [don't knows what size pants I wears, but T wears a sixteen collar.” ir pants, Marse NO ROOM TO DO OTHERWISE. E'S a strange man ; he lives wholly within himself.” got into that habit from living in a flat.” HONORABLE HENRY LEATHERLUNGS'S GLORIOUS CLIMAX. “Now, fellow-citizens (pop! bang!) in conclu sion (bing/), we stand to- day (crackety! crack !) proud of our dignified -boom I ~r-up! bang! position!"* crack! inc! Baro! BOOM! H-—OOF? comicbooks.com