Judge — July 8, 1905 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY Ax rue Panxen Boruprc, Fourtm AvEsvn axp Nixereextu Stxet, New Youn. Wasreen Apverrisinc Orrice—1313 Hartford Building, Chicago, Ii. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. Ove copy, one year,orssmumbers= = 5 ee One copy, six months, or s6mumbers = = ee ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS: ts.00 390, Set He Se 2 nas Including the Cwristsas Jooce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $550 year. Evnornan sates-acuxts—International News Company, Bream’s building, Chancery Lane, E.C, London : Brentana's, Avenue de t" Opera, Paris: Saurbach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany, The contents of FUDGE ave protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and ‘vigorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS mast inctose a stamoed and self-addressed envelope with all manascrints, otbertvise return of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and alt contributions sent to the Art Department shoald have the sender's fall name and address written plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompamying Joke oF descriptive letter-press should in every instance be written upon its indtotdaal pictare, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. not accepted, tasure safe and prompt return of material WORLD DUTIES OF UNCLE SAM. E HUNDRED and thirty years from Bunker Hill finds Uncle Sam in a position never dreamed of by the forefathers who gave us Independence day. From a little coast republictimidly asserting the profoundest and most revolutionary doctrines of human rights to a world-power dwelling with conscious pride and equality amidst the half-dozen great nations of the earth is an evolution the vastness of which only the historian of the future can estimate. In 1776 a bit of uncertain bunting was fluttering into existence as a flag in Philadelphia, and it was forty-two years before the stars and stripes, as a definitive token of a full- fledged nationality, was unfurled to the gaze of the world. It was over forty years after the first Fourth of July that the United States of America emerged into the world consciousness in the person of your Uncle Samuel. And it has been reserved for those now living to see him divide with John Bull, France, Germany and Russia the practical sovereignty of this planet. With power goes responsibility, and a nation like ours cannot shirk its duty to the outside world—which explains why your Uncle Sam has been avery busy individual of late years. From his high vantage-ground of nearly universal friendship, it almost seems as if he might yet become the general mentor of nations, and thus before long have the whole world on his hands. And surely, as long as this high service is free from any spirit of intermeddling, and exercised so as to advance the great cause of human liberty, none can find fault with it. The time has come for Uncle Sam to take on a new dignity, in view of his world duties. JUDGE would like to see in his pictured image an added grace of sympathy and kindness, a new lustre of benevolence and justice, and a heightened glow of enthusiasm for the realization of a more perfect liberty and independence at home anda purer influence upon the rest of mankind. AMBASSADOR REID set out not to talk much in London, we believe. But, then, those Englishmen are so . deucedly sociable, don’t you know. [vs GETTING so that when you are asked to name the Roosevelt cabinet you have to think a while and chalk it off on your fingers. oe NTOMOLOGIST SMITH—N. Tom Smith, the Jerseyites call him—told the cities adjacent to the meadows” that the mosquitoes were all dead ex- cept in one spot. Now said cities are seeking N. Tom with an earnest desire to lay hands on him. They have just seen the joke. One spot is all the mosquito wants—at atime. ‘ PRESIDENT ROOSE- VELT is after the red- tape monster.’ The idea that government business can be done like any other business is too revolutionary to be thought of. REVERSION to type, the scientists call the going back to what we once were. Philadelphia is getting back to the first Fourth. of stamps to the full amount of postage 1s also required, to SHOULD WE HANG WOMEN MURDERERS? FIVE WOMEN at one time under sentence of death for murder has aroused public opinion to a high pitch all over the country. We be- lieve the spectacle of killing a woman on the gallows or in the electric chair ought to bring shame to the state and the nation where it occurs. Every argument that calls for the execution of the male malefactor is equally ap- plicable to the female, and the axiom that justice is no respecter of persons is admitted. And yet something in our humanity revolts at capital punish ment for women. In spite of our laws, civilized sentiment regards the dogma of blood for blood as a survival of barbarism, and the execution of women will only hasten the total abandonment of the awful practice. ‘THE MORAL USES OF THE BIG “D.” THE ALLEGED USE of a damnatory expletive by a well-known woman of wealth has been made much of by the editors, and some have even gone so far as to read in the incident a lesson of national decay, as evinced by the lowering standard of womanhood. We do not believe one of these editors would be shocked by a streak of blue language evoked, for exam- ple, by a particularly brilliant “‘ scoop” on the part of a competitor, or the “ tumbling ” of the last “ form ” just as it was going to the“ steam-table ”; but they are mightily excited when a woman resorts to an oath to give ex- pression to feelings for which the language provides few vocal equivalents. In short, why is it so very much worse for a woman to swear than it is for aman todo so? Most swearing men are innocent of any malice of inten- tion; and, when you come to think of it, the language is partly to blame for the habit, for there are no words, short, sharp, explosive and virile, to take the place of the wicked “damn.” You hit your thumb with the ham- mer, for instance, and human nature is so made up that an exclamation is anecessity. But something else is present. The sudden accident, giving pain, brings a flash of anger, and this anger is elemental and grounded in the deepest philosophy. Our flashing indignation at an avoidable injury is but a spark of that fire which flamed in the sword of Eden. The universe abhors the accidental. When the hammer hits your thumb you must say something, and say it in such a way as to express a natural anger at the depravity in you and in the hammer that led to the mis- chief. You can say “Ouch!” but that omits the second requirement. “T snum!” and “1 vum!” and “Gee-whiz!” are all painfully inadequate. Your common man generally goes at the thing with vigor, and in a second has disposed of the whole business and gone ‘on with his work. Neverthe- less, we hate to hear of a lady swearing, and we hope it is not common among the wo- men folks. | [T'S “DR.” FAIRBANKS WEE and Dr. McClellan now, Us Ly and Oxford has “doctored ”? Nothing fateful about the combination, we trust. 5 Wiis Osler over again. NY LZ D. has gone to making * axle-grease. Evidently MORE powder and less shot next time, Mr. Bowen. THE MODERN ATLAS-DIPLOMAT. Uncte Sam—" Teddy, it's getting easler to play with this ball than it used to be."* wants a little smoother going for a change. comicbooks.com