Judge — July 1, 1905 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MEETS OTHER SLUMMERS. “Ethel seems to like to go slumming.” “Yes; says she meets such nice people out slumming. “OL’ NUTMEG'S” SAYINGS. [7S & mighty long road thet don’t hev no autermobile an’ a s hoss. Symperthy is sure tew be with the under dorg, dorg hap'ns tew be yewrn, Where they's smoke they’s fire, an’ where they’s fire they’s a chance uv gittin’ burnt Some people crittercize their neighbors’ shortcomin’s, then fail cairt pervidin’ the under tew profit by their observations. A feller goin’ intew the poultry bi not tew kill the hen thet lays the golden aig. The feller who says he kin leave off his bad habits is mos’ gen'ly the feller who hez never tried anythin’ uv the kind. Don't never agree with a man when he calls himself a + dod- gasted chump,” or anythin’ like thet, onless yew are ready tew be 108 cone. niz should be mighty keerful dropped frum his callin’-list. A REJECTION. AST night I kissed her! T couldn't help it, she was such a dear! And as I knew that no one else was near I simply kissed her. She fairly spurned it. Her black eyes flashed, her ch “do not want your horrid kiss So she returned it. ELLEN M, ZURNGREN, A FAMILY ARTICLE. [TWAS in a large public school. + Mary, you must throw away that chewing-gum. I cannot stand it any longer !" exclaimed the teacher to a little ragged, dark-skinned girl of foreign extraction. The chewing ceased. A short time afterward, however, Mary, with thoughts intent upon something else, forgot, and the chewing began vigorously again. “Mary, didn’t I tell you to throw away your chewing-gum? Bring it to me!" Mary hesitatingly started for the desk, but as she reached it burst out sobbing. ++ Please, ma'am, it belongs to Aunt Hattie, and if I don’t give it back to her to-night she'll lick me.” FICKLENESS OF FORTUNE. Hale—1 see by the paper this morning that a inan who has amused thousands of people by his singing in comic opera has com- mitted suicide because he was out of employment.” Dale—*' Yes ; that's the way it goes. And right here, in the flat under us, is a young woman who never will be a singer and can nev- ertheless afford to torment everybody within hearing by taking daily music-lessons."” THE POINT OF VIEW—A PUZZLE POEM. (These stantas express the views of Miss Polly Smith and Master Cholly Smith and Alrs. Molly Smith on the subject of va- cation. Find the stanza expressing the views of Mrs. Smith.) URRAH! Vacation ’s heret Until far-off September ‘The Outdoor club meets every day, And I'm a charter member. A short mile up the pil ‘The swimming-bole is waiting, While fields and orchards on the way Provide the best of baiting. ne is in the league— "il win the cup, no fear! Up to the attic with these buoks— Vacation 's here! I'm glad that school is out— So glad I cannot tell you! Why, when you whisper at our school They'd just as lief expel you! can make new clothes For my neglected dollies. Abd read again the fairy tales My papa calls Grimm follies. ithmetic for weeks, No faults to hear about— Indeed, I'm very, very glad That school is out! And now farewell to peace— Farewell to peace and quiet! Each morning earnest pleas and tears, Each bedtime tears and riot. All day wits overstrained, And overmuch of mending ; All night, each night, dark, troubled dreams Some evil new portending. Vacation? Not for me! When school and lessons cease Farewell to restful. idle hours— Farewell to peace! EDWARD W. BARNARD. AFRAID TO LOOK YP. SS YVHY doesn't he look up his family-tree 2" s* Afraid he might see some monkeys hanging from the branches. SCARE-HEAD? Spacer—« 1 have been trying to think of a unique caption for the column of wedding announcements. or— Head it * Rumors of AN INSECT PANIC. Mr. Crawroor—"* Run for your lives, fellows! Here comes a landslide!" comicbooks.com