Judge — June 3, 1905 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LEM. Here is a problem which is submitted to. the scientists with a request that it be tak- en up at their next meeting. It's one of those problems that call for light. In brief, here it is: Why Joes so much humor come to JUbGE on Mondays? We have wrestled with this Q non, but the answer doesn’t com Toward the end of the week the stream slackens and by Saturday dries up; then on Monday comes a treshet, One week It has come so much a routine of the office that all our fucilities for handling comic goods have | ranged with reference to this peculiar By Wednesday our staff of sorters, bunchers and shockers are given leave to yo on picnics, but on Monday the full force: must line up when the whistle blows and begin work, Two extra weigh- ersare on hand early and one freight eleva: tor is assigned for the exclusive escalation of funny stuff, alter another it is the same, to be en When you he deepens. nto look into it the mys- First of all, it raises the question, Do funny-men go tochurch? For much Of this matter from near hy places of si 1 its journey Sunday evening. pinent is started “You may become bald, but baldn Systematic Shampooing with Packers Tar Soap Pure as the Pines means healthy hair and s Ip and prevents premature baldn Ss Factor Mite. Cea, New York TFOULLES NEVER COME SINGLE. Mis Knewwit © Wecertaimiy is true that troubles never come st Krewettall Single! Well 1 hot these days of turn down the man who offers a subs: tute when you order CLUB COCKTAILS, Seven kinds — Manhattan, Martini, Vermouth, Whiskey, Holland Gin, Tom Gin, York— but only one brand—" CLUB." G. F. HUEBLEIN & BRO., seotiiCtore Hartford NewYork London will not become you.’ 1 Do the wholesale fun merchants deliber- ately plan to have their wares exposed for sale bright. and early on Monday morn- ing? Isit from a belief that decks are cleared every Saturday and that every- thing begins anew with the first business- day of the week 2? Or is it just be the day of rest is the only day when the artisan, the factory hands, the merchant, and the lawyer can devote themselves to the agreeable task of humorous composi- tion?” Atail events, the fact remains and calls for explanation, | One would suppose the well-known mat adies of blue Monday would act asa stay [as to editors, and generally arrives to- on this practice of the fun-writers, Do they ever stop to consider Mondays he is apt to feel depressed, the world 1s draped in’ grays and nothing looks very amusing to him, On the List that Monday is a blue | still so remot day for the editors as tor other folks ? On | be that a great longing tor sweeps down upon these multitude ward the close of first cold moments in the dawn of the morning after, while next ghost day 1s as to be negligible, it may se the wind [as anybody with day of the week, on the other hand, the | day when the ghost walks, editors are apt to feel frisky and happy. It doesn’t take much on that day to make an editor laugh, He will smile with most anybody that comes along. And yet the funsmiths seem to steer clear of him on that day, 1 then on Monday, when the aftermath of ghost day is full upon him, a sort of drizzly twilight of gloom and regrets, they swamp him’ with their offerings. ‘These funny folks are not very wise people. In most things in this old world we are prodded by necessity, Here is a possible merely as a clew for the jon of the prob. A POSSIBLE, EXPLANATION. scientists to begin on, We throw it out Ghost day comes to other people as well BOOK OF BOOKS. OVER at An Oakland | good Iteratury had on She says Ldrank coffee freely for eight years before | began to perceive any evil effects from it, ‘Then TE noticed that Twas be- coming very nervous, and that my stom- ach was gradually losing the power to properly assimilate my food, In time so weak that E dreaded to leave the honse for no reason whatever but because of the miserable condition of my nerves and stomach, [attributed the trouble ti thing in the world but colle pou PULLISHTED, dly who has a taste tor tells what_a happy time The Road to Wellville.” end would leave me in dition than at first. was most wretched nd discouraged — not thirty years old aud feeling that Ie was a tulure ! «Thad given up all hope of ever enjoy- sell like other people, till one day the little book, * The oud to Welle ville.” WW opened my eyes, me a lesson [shall never tory not value too hi 1 the use of the old of cotfce and be to drink Postum Food Cotte. Ln the beginning of an improvement in. the whole tone of my system, alter only two days! use of ad in ct very short t calized that L could so about like other people without the least return of the nerve 1 that formerly me so much trouble, In fact my nervous. ness disappeared entirely and has never returned, slthough it is now a year that L have been drinking: Postum Food Cotte And my stomach is now like iron can upset it! + Last week, during the big Conela San Francisco, L was on the yo [night without the slightest fatisg Jas T stood in the immens the great parade t worse cone mediately quit w dein stele ave nothing in rowel watehings at lasted tor hours, f thought to myself, “This strength is what Postim Foo Coffee has. 4) me Name given by Postum’ Co, Battle . Mich, cre’s a reason, ¢ little book, The Road to Well- nay be tound in every pack ‘The assurance of getting the best that money can buy or sclentific brewing knowl- edge can produce goes with every bottle. 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