Judge, 1905-06-03 · page 10 of 16
Judge — June 3, 1905 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains several humorous short dialogues and comic vignettes mocking social pretensions and human foibles of the era. **Key sections:** - **"A Real Boy"**: A poem celebrating boyish roughness and dirt—contrasting with Victorian ideals of pristine children. - **"Going to Be Permanently Located"**: A joke about an actor claiming he'll be "permanently located" in heaven—mocking theatrical pretension and religiosity. - **"How It Struck Him"**: A tragic actor's overwrought account of a failed performance, with the punchline that his dramatic suffering impressed no one—satire of thespian self-importance. - **"His Fears"**: A husband afraid to succeed financially because magazine writers would exploit his story—mockery of new celebrity culture and self-made-man narratives. - Various brief witticisms about lobster-catching, wooden legs, and useless hats—typical light social comedy. The overall tone targets inflated egos, theatrical affectation, and anxiety about modern publicity culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A REAL BOY. Wo wot ny Lace When Daun back fam sehead Pee My pants tured where f slid Aw my w OF mad wh Aw’ nen any face an! lawly Is Tuileanse twins, Pde, jal, Tart yoo QUITE DIFFERENT. ssy' Lthought you said you wasn't ‘fraid 0° spooks?" Liv“ T-that was in the d-daytime awe which ote would just suit my: pea . GOING TO BE PERMANENTLY LOCATE! when you die 2” TIE ggreat tra T e house was cold at first,” at kind of a reception elas Pnever acted hefore or sinc HOW IT STRUCK HIM. ‘ dian was describing one of his early experiences, Clergyman «where do you suppose you will Actor» Where L won't have to play one-night stands,” “th ie said, “and [despaired of waking it up. ulant howeve Iways affects me as a sum AND HE WAS IT. Mrs, Kenham— Vo you know how lobsters are caught 2° tn Friends assured 1 that they never saw any one act like F did. Finally | Benham —* Only one, my dear.” in the air, One feels those things somehow 1 ean't explain it, In some indescribable m ner, [knew things would soon be ing my way. All at once there was a dead calm, like the hush before some tropic tempest, and then —and then—it came with a burst.” : applause ?" Ino. It struck me as IN SOAK. Karker—“Gruet is a queer fellow.” Carker—" Ves, He heard it — d was a good plan to soak the feet, to ples so he pawned his wooden leg. MAYBE IT WAS BRASS. Gerald —« 1 was once shot in Mow 4 om i sure SIGN ; . the face.” Me Bee oe a eeua ee eb werk fords Geraldine “ow far did the Most Possum —" He said he felt jes” like sroin’ fishin’. huilet go when it glanced off 7" HIS FEARS. oo JOUN HENRY," s. I the dis why don't you yet out and hustle like other men? MH you had taken advan lage of your opportunities and ey. ereised your talents we would have heen in atiluent cireumstances by this time.” plained 5 #1 do it ina minute if it wasn't that some fellow would writings magazine articles about how | got my money, and | Want to spare you all that worry.” OF SOME USE, AFTER ALL Ella + That fellow’s het isn't of much use to him.” Stella“ Well, 1 suppose he “feels that he's got to have some- thing to hang his hat on.” Jack" I'm afraid i comicbooks.com