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Judge, 1905-03-18 · page 10 of 16

Judge — March 18, 1905 — page 10: what you’re looking at

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Judge — March 18, 1905 — page 10: Judge, 1905-03-18

What you’re looking at

This page contains several standalone humor pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: **"Their Fears"**: A man mistakenly kisses his fiancée's twin sister upon meeting her. The joke plays on the social awkwardness and impropriety of the situation—the "fear" being that he'll make the same mistake again, and her reassurance that she'll "always be afraid" he won't repeat it. **"Storm-Door Philosophy"**: Depicts casual domestic banter about a cat destroying basement shelving. The humor lies in the man's flippant attitude toward destruction ("we can have some new cement flooring"). **"Economy"**: An elderly man complains about someone taking a thermometer outdoors to check temperature differences, wasting "twenty-five cents." The joke mocks penny-pinching frugality. **"Serious Offense"**: A sergeant's complaint that a man isn't properly "impudent"—the absurdist humor suggests military discipline expects subordinates to show disrespect. **"No Doubt of It"**: A brief exchange establishing that a man is a lawyer and "cross-examiner"—confirming a stereotype about lawyers' argumentative nature. These are light domestic and social satires with no apparent political commentary.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

INCONSISTENT. Se THESE artists make m ed the the STORM-DOOR PHILOSOPHY. SPOR MOORS, butted Visitor ut that's a goat NO CAUSE FORK WORRY you have hitehed to your cart ! the cat got on the hanging shelf in the basement and knocked down Vex; but ! never mind. Wecan have some new cement flooring put in—a IE ee ENGLISH AS SHE MIG! THEIR FEARS. ECONOMY. ENTERING the house, he clasps the fair young, girl in his arms and 44 JAIEZ,” growled old man Hanifyst, *ashat in tarnation are you ows a rapturous kiss upon her lips, carryin’ thet thermometer outdoors an’ back si ter? + How dare you, sir!" she eries. + Jest want to see the dillerence in the temperature explained Then he sees his tremendous blunder. He has kissed the twin Jabez, sister of his fiancée, Atter due and proper a os he says, “Well, you Let it al Keep the mercury runnin’ up an *Tshall always be atraid lest | make the same mistake yin” in thet tube lest thing we know the thermometer HW be wore * she replies with a sisterly smile, * shall always be afraid an’ there'll be twenty-five cents throwed assay lest you won't.” SERIOUS OFFENSE. SeGAY" called the var send aman down » make a pineh fre per: “uniform elas he yg ona Then he isn't im. per” Well, he is. He made ine give him a drink.” oes Professor rv Attit,” says Who's he?" asks: the visitor + Why, he’s: the man who computed the total tion of the vernment NO DOUBT OF IT. He's, Who is that fellow you just bowed to?” “That's Piffle pumpkin prod world for the bureau of stati our most prominent s-examiner in the stat comicbooks.com