Judge, 1905-02-04 · page 3 of 16
Judge — February 4, 1905 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces: 1. **"Ballade on the Servant"** — A poem satirizing domestic servants' behavior and attitudes, suggesting they're difficult to manage and prone to complaint. 2. **"A Last Request"** — A sentimental poem about lost friendship and unrequited affection. 3. **"At the Minstrels"** — A brief dialogue joking about the difference between a phenologist (skull-shape scientist) and a man who "runs into a door in the dark," with a setup for absurdist humor. 4. **"How They Love One Another"** — A cartoon showing men at a billiards table, with a caption about a husband asking a friend not to mention his wife's diamond solitaire theft. The humor generally targets servants' insubordination, sentimental romance, pseudo-scientific pretension, and marital deception—typical early-20th-century Judge magazine fare.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BALLADE ON THE SERVANT PROBLEM. WIEN women meet to have a chat Their voices strike a joyous key 5 They talk a while of this and that, Of shows that the OF couples who ca intend to see, tayree. But ere the time to end the call +Tt seems to me Forgotten then the gown or bi Or what the tyles may be, HF hier fat, rch amor Or who is bantin Or who paid For k Tn accents that can but appall pus fee I service in S. D. One will assert unhappily, “+ Tcannot keep a cook at all." ‘They cease to criticise the Mat, Or to discuss the latest tea, Or how the Browns made up their spat, Or what somebody said when she At cuchre lust in one, two, three. the fall of her who's up a tree, *Teannot keep a cook at all.” The AeENVOL Princess, I make appeal to thee: w 1 next I saunter down t let © Teannot keep a cook at all. DID IT RIGHT AWAY. 66 ]'M going to avoid all menti the hereafter, “Tt seems to me in too much futile WELL, “ My co’ they broke into the 8 -"Ah! a case o} Farmer Greene 8 Of and th weather said the earnest m that we induly MMent Upon it, when oUF conver- sation might be turned into other and more helpful channels.” A very good idea—quite a reform,” commented the thoughtful man. “Yes; and a fine day like this inspires one to uplift one’s self, doesn’tit il i i A LAST REQUEST. Fok eight tong years you" with Through ve journeyed And often, so And often hh Ah! many and many a friend has gone Adown the dark, dark way. Tn my thy But you rema Tn summer time and in winter, too, On mountain or on the sea, The last at night T've fou nd first at morn, til with me, I'm never And You consol apanions Hve known west and you scorn me the least, And my will is ever your own, And when Of which y T want the You dear old reds 1 called to that perfect bliss re merely a type, mury you by my side, ay pipet SILAS x, FLOYD. AT THE MINSTRELS. asked Mr. Gilfithers, eminent end-man ;# what is the difference between a phrenolo- gist and a man who runs into a door | swow! in the dark 2” ate so many apples they got drink, e-lot."" ned’ beef and cabbage.” give it up," said: Mr, Golsiz- ale, the other eminent end-man ; for they were cutting the show short that evening in order to catch an early train to the next one-night stand, One knows the bumps and the other bumps the nose,” explained Mr, Gilfithers, HOW THEY LOVE ONE ANOTHER! me haf dot diamond solitaire for two h t ou can't b It mi nd derd dollars vot | gif my vife, but he asked me not to toldt anybody.” t among his custeemers how bad he sticked you." comicbooks.com