Judge, 1905-01-28 · page 7 of 16
Judge — January 28, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces satirizing turn-of-the-century American life: **"The New Poetry"** mocks modern poets who abandon traditional romantic themes for trivial, contemporary subjects—the "old-time poet's knocked sky-high." **"A Whole Kit"** is a detective story joke playing on physiognomic caricature: the sergeant describes a suspect as "hatchet-faced, saw-toothed, gimlet-eyed, hammer-headed"—criminal stereotypes that proved unreliable. **"Symptomatic"** references the Russo-Japanese War (1904-05), satirizing alcoholics who've shifted from seeing snakes (classic alcohol hallucination) to seeing Japanese warships—suggesting the war dominated public consciousness so thoroughly it even invaded drunk delirium. **"A Lesson in Letters"** jokes about college promissory notes ("I.O.U.") disguised as vowel exercises. **"À la Cassie Chadwick"** references the notorious Cassie Chadwick fraud case (early 1900s), where the con artist swindled banks by claiming to be Andrew Carnegie's illegitimate daughter. The comic strip shows someone committing petty larceny.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE NEW POETRY. OF OLD be span the glowing fi \ glittering thread of sunbea Awd drank apy Or shivered bravely ‘ 1c like rarest wine, Kut now. alas! his tale is tel His place is "mong the thin, For Leth f is new doth shine With Whee chains the nthe muses! charmed fold no with smile benign electric hold. minstrel betel) The uldetime poct 's knocked sky-high: Te make sweet converse ofer the brine sacrins the wold, wie sign The heart's dread seerets to unfold These be hist trolled hen Baney lent her deathle what wi hers dyes lays « knecked sky it tThat Deeley Letime pect MeNvoL Kemeniber he once lives, atul sigh. His yay therlay 's in the mould Jel-time poct’s knocked sky-high. A WHOLE KIT. SE THAT man you brought in,” said the desk-sergeant, “cannot be the principal in the crime, In my opinion he is merely a tool.” notice that the fellow is hatchet-faced, saw-toothed, gimlet ss you're right, sergeant,” said the detective, hammer-headed 2” So Ida Starpart married her man- ied 2" “Did you and He is still her manager.” AN EAGER QUEST. UNDERSTAND the Lows of art, I've poured o'er much He studied Hegel, Kant, De But fail to comprehend Mari nophy 5 arte, Ksthetics T have lingered o'er, Law, logic and And But, ah! Marie quite puzzles me. her sciences galore 5 Will some one tell me just how much It takes to know a simple maid? SYMPTOMATIC, SeTHEY'RE not seeing snakes any more down in the alcoholic ard,” said the young doctor to the house-surgeon of the hospital, “They all have Russian jim-jams.” “Russian jim-jams? What do you mean by that 2” “They see Japanese war-ships now.” A LESSON IN LETTERS. SENAY SON,” said the father of the M freshinan, © what are all these little slips of paper bearing he char acters +10 u,’ with a signature and a few figures beneath them ? “Those?” replied the son, stuff ing some more sliced plug into his “Why, that’s just a little memory-test on certain of the man-size pipe. vowels.” “Well, [ happen to know some of these young men whose signa- tures consonants, ‘They are +n. g. fon the slips, and you're in for a memory-drill on two of the 3, Somebody might work dis before 1 git a chanst — Jest a nice oft spe all | want. h LA CASSIE CHADWICK. Chatwick comicbooks.com