Judge, 1905-01-28 · page 6 of 16
Judge — January 28, 1905 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains satirical commentary on early 20th-century American life and politics. **"An Old Salt's Observations"** features a garrulous sailor offering folksy wisdom about life—preserved "in alcohol." His observations mock pretentious self-help philosophy (the "simple life" movement was popular then) by describing how following such advice backfired comically: forgetting his wife's errand, getting hit by a motorcar, falling into the dock. The satire targets naive faith in simplistic life-improvement schemes. **"The Wily Sultan"** jokes about Turkish governance and press relations. The Sultan's decision to tell his wife the news instead of foreign correspondents satirizes how gossip spreads faster than official channels—implying the Ottoman government's communications were ineffective or that wives were notorious gossips. **"Absence"** presents two simple captioned illustrations about school life, showing how a teacher's absence creates classroom chaos while students run wild. The overall tone is gentle domestic and political satire typical of *Judge*'s humor—poking fun at pretension, marital dynamics, and foreign governance through exaggeration and wordplay rather than harsh critique.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN OLD SALT’S OB- SERVATIONS. “t preserve the in alcohol. ks jest add process he J" says the man “Wit,” replies the old philosopher, “1s wisdom with a tack in it Don't step on the tack I's the middle -el wom thas in her efforts for to be a interestin’ invalid, [mean her that is too rich to have the stomach-ache an’ too poor to have appendicitis, The difference between 1 fu'e’sle row an’ a session shiture seems to a ipally, that the members of the legislature don't have by “pins or hand-spikes in the tacks, ant s nora cour age to lead a forlorn hope,” says the Russian stor you take the risk of havin’ your head shot offan: off by the fo Immoral courage to sell out to the enemy, for you take a risk that’s. worsehi of hav- shot by your friends. “How'd he lose his was asked, Well,” * And how is Jack lookin says the man who knew, “he "A ood deal like a cat tt was one of them chaps who every he opened his mouth was sure to put his foot in it.” There was a pause, Finally the first man said, [don't see how that explains the amputa + Well,” says the man who k jest after he had put his foot in it on Tread Charles \ lay a feller cc VY chucked his chin.” F's book about the simple life an’ how wise * Walk daily in the open Hear nothin’ them folks that leads it ai says he, san’ think constantly of nothin’ Absence makes the teacher wonder What it is that keeps her cla ERHEARD AT OUR AMATEUR THEATRICALS ince he married for love? is owned by a vegetar Th but jest walk. It'll rest your mind, rest your body, fill your vitals up with health an’ your mind with peace.” Ltried it, Thinkin’ of noth- in’, 1 forgot that cake of soap my wife had ordered me to buy—an’ you know what that means toa mar- ried man like me when he gits home, Hearin’ nothin’, I disregarded the honkin’ of A motor-car an’ got it, at a speed of forty miles an hour, right in my midst. Seein nothin’, [didn’t notice that the dock was comin’ to an end, an’ stepped off into the , findin’ that the water was colder than the hearts onrighteous, an’ was rescued, badly frostbit, by a man who jabbed a boat- hook through the muscles of ray shoulder, Doin’ noth in’ but jest walk, F eaught fterwards, whe wt had run, the exercise might have sa from it, Says he, * Complexity ’S- perplex- ity.” Says 1, * Simplicity is death—or mighty nigh it.” THE WILY SULTAN, HE sultan of Turkey was conferring with his grand visier on a matter of state. “See to it that the manifesto is given the wid- est publicity,” he said, + Shall L give it to the correspondents of the for- cign papers?" queried the grand vider: + sultan meditated fur a moment, * No,” he said with a shrug. + Go tell it to your wife.” Jenkins the great divide. Tompkins A NATURAL QUESTION, oor Bjones ! it's just about « year now since he passed * Dead or divorced 2” comicbooks.com