Judge — December 31, 1904 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Figby—" Hello, old man! [hear that new baby up at your house "—— Popley—" You don't say? Great pair of lungs, eh 2” pee Ps yours "— Popley—" Yes, yes; and you live two blocks away. Wonderful, wonderful !"— Philadelphia Press. Each returning season—every seasun of the year—brings demand for Abbott's Angostura Bitters, the best blood and nerve renewer. Again the village blacksmith stood un- der the spreading chestnut-tree. Jingling the coins in his pocket, he spake, «Lcare Lot who makes the autos of the nation, provided I make the repairs."— Chicago News, <ceptional durability, combined with per- ‘of tone and touch, make the Sohmer peculiarly adapted to the use of pupils achers in establishments where piano- ig is taught. Tve had a very successful season,” prosperous-looking theatrical man- Well, you can thank your stars for replied the seedy-looking manager. onkers Statesman, “Are you interested in the simple life 2” we inquired. “No,” replied the wild-eyed man ; takes all my time avoiding a simple death.” Dexterously dodging three autos and an explosion, the New Yorker passed from view.—Vew York Sun. ““You may become bald, but baldness will not become you.’’ Systematic Shampooing with Packer's Tar Soap Pure as the Pines means healthy hair and scalp and prevents premature baldness ‘The Packer Mig. Co., New York. —"1 say I hear that baby of| *| Free Press. ‘THE WAG OF THE SEA-DOG’S TALE. The old salt gave his trousers a hitch And said, as he drained his grog, “Tis the jolly tar makes the vessel pitch, And his bark comes from the log. The sea-biscuit makes the good ship roll, And the hitch I take, of course, As I tread the decks, why, bless your soul ! Is meant for the cook's salt horse. «Oh, a sailor's life is a life serene, In every port a lass; And the captain keeps the ocean clean, For he sweeps it with his glass. So here's a health in a glass of grog, Yo-ho ! for the spreading sail ! For I am both the old sea-dog And the wag of the sea-dog’s tale !" —New York Times. Dick— Do you know anything about flirting 2” Tim—" No. 1 thought I did when I tried it, but she married me."—Chicago News. “1 assure you, I'm always willing to acknowledge my faults when I sce them.” “ That's all right, but I'll bet you never acknowledge them’ when your neighbor sees them."—Philadelphia Press. 119th Year! 1780. H. EVANS & SONS——1905 First bachelor — “Suppose you saw some beautiful scenery coming over the Rockies. What was it like ?” Second bachelor—"\t had gray eyes and brown hair and a blue gown ; it sat just across the aisle from me."—Detroit Unlimited comforts are provided on The California We have received from George H. Daniels, general passenger agent of the New York Central, No. § of the * Four- Track" series, which treats in a simple and convincing manner of America’s win- ter resorts to which tickets are sold by the New York Central lines. It tells you where to go if you would escape blizzards and play golf by the sea and lounge un- der pines whose resinous odors cause all bronchial troubles to fade gracefully away. It not only tells you where to go, but how much the trip costs and what you will find when you arrive. It is a pamphlet with just the kind of intorma- tion one wants who contemplates a trip either to the Carolinas, Florida, the Adi- rondacks or Montreal and Quebec. It is also fortified with a fine map, and we take pleasure in assuming the réle of a New York Central missionary and advising our | readers to write at once for a copy of this illustrated folder, which, even if they are can't-get-aways, will still be sure to inter- est and instruct them. Address George H. Daniels, Grand Central station, New York city. Mother —“ Why did you let him kiss you?” Mabel to stop.” Mother—" You did 2?” Mabel— Yes; every time."—Philadel- phia Ledger. I couldn't help it. I told him “Dear,” said the poet's wife, noticing his abstracted look, “you are worried about something.” “ Well—er—yes,” replied the poet. “Tell me; what have you on your mind ?” “Nothing. That's what worries me. —Philadelphia Press. The arch-lobster has been found se- creted in a smelt weir in West Lubec, Me. Weight, thirty-six and one-half pounds ; length, forty-five inches ; claws, thirty-six inches ; legs, twelve and one-half inches, and “thick as a big turkey's leg.” ‘This is the red czar of Lobsteria ; and he goes as a trophy, an ornament and a tutelary genius to the New England branch of the anti-imperialist league.—New York Sun. Mamma—" Now, Elsie, dear, what is a cat?” Elsie—“ Dunno.” Mamma—" Well, what's that funny lit- tle animal that comes creeping up the stairs when every one’s in bed ?” Elsie (promptly)—" Papa."—Mlustrat- ed Bits, Mr. Green— Miss Passay says she has a prescription for perpetual youth,” Miss Sarcastic—“\t's a wonder she wouldn't take it to a drug-store and have it put up."—Detroit Free Press. Buin ‘YOU can’t expect a made-in-a hurry cocktail to satisfy a palate used to better things. CLUB Cocktails are the original brand and the best. Seven kinds—Manhattan, Martini, Ver- mouth, Whiskey, Holland Gin, Tom Gin and York. G.F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Proprietors Hartford New York London that Matter of Life Insurance. One of the Best Investments io the World. ‘Send to-day for Information. say Without committing myself to any action, I shall be glad to receive free, particulars and rates of Policies, Age——__ Limited Compartment Pullmans for those who seek seclusion; Ol tion Pullmans for those who wish to view the passing show: Buffet-smoking cars for those who enjoy lub luxuries. Santa Fe All the Way. i fornia trip book, addrem General Pamenger Office. Fer pomoblet of the tela ant OO os Chinon Insurance Co. of America. JOHN F. DRYDEN, Pres Home Office: ysident. NEWARK, N. J.