Judge — December 17, 1904 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

S is the rare ort of cheroot That makes grim care Get up and scoot, And sweet tunes seems ‘To gayly pipe, To fill my dreams With melons ripe, And with shanghais And soft-shell clams, And ‘possum pies And pork and yams Oh! “tis so sweet ‘That sure I think I's drink and meat And meat and drink. TOMMY ON SANTY CLAUS. HE teacher ast me to write somethin’ on Santy Claus. I don't know anythin’ about Santy Claus, ‘cept what people have told me an’ what I've read in books. What you read in books about Santy Claus may be so an’ it may not be so, an’ what people tell you about Santy Claus ain't so, any way. But it's most Christmas-time, an’ the teacher is awful good the day ‘fore Christmas, an’ she ast me to write somethin’, so I am goin’ to do it. I wonder why people are so willin’ just ‘fore Christmas ? I ast my uncle Bill, an’ he said it was ‘cause they was so unwillin’ after Christmas. I don't b'lieve ev'rythin’ my uncle Bill says. He smokes cigarettes, an’ don’t take any stock in anythin’ but his dog, he says. Some people say Santy Claus is a myth an’ some say he's your father. Any way, he come to Jimmie Jones's house last year, an’ Jimmie ain't got any myth, or any father, either. They's been some new houses built in town, an’ ev'ry one of them has got big fireplaces in ‘em, which is right contrary to what pa said last year, that the Santy Claus business is goin’ out of date. I b'lieve in Sai whether it's so or not. If they wasn't any Santy Claus they be any Christmas; an’ if they wasn't any Christmas they would- n't be any presents, or any turkey, ik wi or any pud'n’, or any good skatin’, iin or anythin’ any good. (hl I've never seen Santy Claus, but last year I heard him. Ma put me to bed, an’ she Now, you go right to sleep.” 1 shut my eyes, but I couldn't go to sleep if I'd been licked for it. I must have laid awake six or seven hours, an’ by an’ by I saw a wee light, an’ some one was movin’ in the room. Pretty soon he cracked his shins, an’ then he danced round an’ round an’ groaned with pain. I was awful scat, but I wanted to be polite, so I says, “ Mr. Santy ANAM i Vy LNG i Pe | Nh hai H. nty Claus: wouldn't ED Mt Hin Claus, did you hurt you ?” t MORE LIKE IT. “* Haf you any idea by who iss it all dese pobular airs are gombosed ?”* Fritz— ‘ Dey are not gombosed, mein freund; dey are degombosed.”* . Mouse.— He didn’t answer, so in a minute I says again, “ Mr, Santy Claus, did you hurt you?” This time he answered, an’ his voice was awful gruff an’ harsh, an’ he says, “Shut up!" I dodged my head under the bed- clothes, an’! staid there till morn- in’, I told pa, an’ he said I must been dreamin’, Any way, I sha‘n't ask Santy Claus any more questions when he’s busy. JOR con, A PLEASANT SURPRISE. UCH sorrows in his heart he bore, And he the merriest of souls, He thought he'd get no presents, for His stockings all were full of holes. But when Yule moming brightly broke, The good of holes at once he knew; For just as soon as he awoke He saw the presents peeping through ! 3. —(swish 1) and comes right Into camp."* CHRISTMAS EVE IN THE KITCHEN. — He nibbles at the bait— comicbooks.com