Judge — December 17, 1904 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

COLD -WEATHER ‘TALES, THE man who had lived in Canada looked at the crowd gathered around the stove with contempt. “Wa-al! looks es ef you fellers think it’s cold.” “Shet that door and come in!" roared the store- keeper. Ef this ain’t cold I shed jest like to see some cold weather.” The man from Canada looked at him with pity. « Gosh!" he said as he seat- ed himself within a foot of the stove. Why, up in Canada they would be out havin’ a Sunday-school pic- nic ef it warn’t colder than this. And hearn some of you say it turned off cold quick ! « Now, jest to show ye what a quick freeze is, I'll relate a little thing that hap- pened upinCanada Nothin’ out o' the usual run up thar. When I lived up thar 1 was a duck-hunter—and ef you want to see ducks, that’s the place to go. I've seen twenty acres of lake so thick with them that the fish would all git smothered. « Wa-al, | was out one day on the lake, and it was es pretty a day es you want to see, and warm enough to go in your shirt-sleeves, and I had just located a nice bunch of about four acres of ducks, when all of a sud- den the wind swung ‘round to the east. Wa-al, gentle- men! that was a cold wind. “Before them ducks could lift a wing the lake was froze hard, and thar was four acres of ducks hard and fast, their feet froze in the ice! All | had to do was to wring their necks and then chop them out and load my boat.” “Huh!” said the store- keeper, “How was you a- gallopin’ around in a boat with the lake froze ?” “Oh, them boats all has Coprmusnt 1904.87 OBE COMPANY PUBLISHERS, 226 FOURTH AVE NEW YORK A CHRISTMAS MIX-UP. A little boy, ‘A home-made scow, A playful calf, A mamma cow, A neighbor on An errand bent— All with the boy Down hill did went. sled-runners, fer such emer- gencie: The retired whaler sniff- ed. ‘Don't call that so.cold. Ef you want ter see cold weather jest up in the North sea. I recalls a little affair that war a slight indi- cation that it war cold. “IT war second on the Mary Jane, and she war as round-bottomed ds adug-out. «We war well filled with oil, and as it war gettin’ late in the season we war think- in’ erbout pullin’ our freight, es the feller from Texas said, when thar comes up the bust- inist northeaster that you ever hearn of. The Mary war lifted clean up out of the water and come down with such a bump that I thought she had struck a rock, But,no, sir! It war ice she had come down on. The waves had froze solid when she war up in the air, the top of one ‘bout as high as a steeple. * «In course, when the ice once comes up thar it stays till spring, and we warn't in no fix ter camp on top of that wave till then. So I goes ter the old man an’ says, ‘I've got a plan,’ and teils him. +All right,’ says he, “you can ef you want ter,’ so I has the carpenter bore a hole in the bottom, up in the bows, and rig a hose from the oil-tanks, so that we could let out a stream of oil just in front of the Mary whenever we wanted to. “Then I had some of the men loop a line around a wave, and Chips turned on the oil. “You see, it was jest like one of them role-costers, We got a good start down that big wave, and the oil makin’ all easy goin’, we didn’t stop till we whizzed out into the water five hun- dred miles to the south’ard.” The man who had lived in Canada had vanished. comicbooks.com