Judge, 1904-12-17 · page 29 of 48
Judge — December 17, 1904 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains Christmas-themed humor typical of early 20th-century satire. **Top section ("Trust All Christmas Dreams"):** Two homeless men ("Rags" and "Tags," written in exaggerated dialect) sitting on a park bench share whimsical Christmas fantasies—one imagines the subway as a stocking filled with plum pudding; the other envisions skyscrapers stacked and filled with hot drinks. They propose forming a "trust on Christmas dreams," a wry joke about trusts (monopolistic business combinations) applied to shared poverty and hope. **Middle sections:** A poem about a woman's elaborate Christmas dressing, and a brief joke about enjoying Christmas (contrasting "good living" with delaying gift-opening). **Bottom cartoons ("They're All Alike"):** Two panels showing Henry Boast before and after Christmas. Before: he claims presents' value lies in "spirit," not cost. After: he complains that a wealthy friend (Gotrocks) sent him a cheap collar-button, revealing his hypocrisy about materialism. The satire critiques wealthy people's self-serving attitudes toward gift-giving and Christmas sentiment.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TRUST ALL CHRIST- MAS DREAMS. RAGS and Tags, returned hoboes, were’ huddled on a bench in City-hall park on Christmas eve. “Say, Tags,” said Rags, “T wuz a-dreamin’ dat de whole subway wuz a sock hung on de foot uv me bed, an’ dat ev'ry car wuz stuffed wid plum-puddin’ an’ put in de sock uv yours truly.” “You make me feel like a outcast,” said Tags. “ Jes’ when I wuz nappin’ I Vought dat all de sky-scrap- ers in lower Broadway wuz piled on top uv one anudder an’ filled wid hot Tom-and- Jeremiah, An’ I tought I hed de<city contract to tap de tank all de way down.” “Say, Tags,” quoth Rags, ‘let's form a trus’ on Christmas dreams.” “What did old Gor- mand die of ?” THE RIGHT WAY. 7 5 at Hamratt—"' What's a good way to enjoy yourself at Christmas ?"" Good living. Romeo—" Don’t look at your presents till the next day.” A CHRISTMAS TOILETTE, FIRST lingerie as white as snow, And now a frock, of pink brocade And finally a jaunty hat (And bless my heart how sheer it is!) (My wedding-gown’s own mate it is), (Gainsborough would delight in it!) ‘Then silken stockings like the crow. For her dark beauty just the shade. Completes her garb. (I'm sorry that (Extravagant I fear it is.) (In Morpheus’s name, how late it is!) . She'll have to spend the night in it.) Bronze slippers next, with buckles bright A flower for her hair, (unhymned At last—no thanks for you or me— (Oh, see what tiny feet she has!) And quite unknown to botany !) (St. Nick is thanked instead) And bows like butterflies in flight. A velvet cloak with ermine trimmed ; Miss Dolly ’s ready for the tree. (An instep high and neat she has!) (It does look rather cottony !) (And Dolly’s maid for bed!) RDWARD W. BARNARD. Henry Boast (before Christmas)— The trouble with this whole Christ- Henry Boast (after Christmas) —'* Now, what do you think of that? Old mas business—there isn't enough sentiment in it. Now, [never think of the Gotrocks sends me a dinky little collar-button. If | had his money and sent cost of my presents—it's the spirit in which they are given thatappeals tome." such a present as that I'd hide myself in shame for a month.” y i THEY’RE ALL ALIKE.