Judge, 1904-12-17 · page 25 of 48
Judge — December 17, 1904 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This six-panel satirical comic follows a character named "Nervy Nat," apparently a street hustler or con man, through a surreal Christmas day marked by sudden wealth and delusion. The joke: Nat finds a large sum of money ("simoleans") and briefly lives like a wealthy man—ordering expensive meals at Delmonico's, demanding flamingos from Central Park, treating servants imperiously. His fantasy collapses when the waiter reveals his bills are counterfeit (likely planted by one of his tenants seeking revenge). The final panel shows him arrested by Officer O'Toole, ending his brief pretense of respectability. The satire mocks both Nat's absurd social climbing and the precariousness of working-class criminality. His "merry Christmas" is essentially a fever dream of unearned gentility, punctured by reality. The humor relies on period slang and class commentary typical of Judge magazine's satirical approach to urban American life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
le Nervy Nat—" ‘Twas the night tehind Christmas, and | leave it to you—if you didn't wear socks would you hang up your shoe? I would, you beti I'm going to shut my lamps tight and promise not to look till ‘old Andrew Carnegie Claus has passed the quarter-post. Hope the head- lines on my comforter don't keep me awake, that's all.”* “ Counrerrert Teo ""—"' Dat fly cop Is gettin’ too clost ter me. I'll have ter hide dese bum long-greens in dis hobo’s shoe an’ trust ter luck in scarin’ ‘em out uv him later on."" Nexvy Nat—" That's the old boy now—but | promised not to peep. | believe I'm getting into my second kidhood, playing Christmas like this.”* TATA € Ps t aT Ee p | | 3. Nervy Nat—"Say, this is bad—eh, what? Break the news to mother! I will have ‘eats’ to-day. There must be a thousand crisp simoleans in this wad. | will take my constitutional and give the cham- bermaid a chance to make my bed; then Delmonico’s for mine. 1 think Twill buy a fur surtout also."* 4. Nervy Nar—'t You're positive that's the largest turkey you had in the house, and pus sure the ice around that fizz is quite first-class and absolutely cold? Very well; you may go and get me the other things | ordered. ‘This will keep me from being bored while I'm waiting. You might send up to Central park and get mea flamingo. | always wanted to try one of those birds. 5. Waiter—"" Beg pardon, sir, but the cashier says as how he'd like you to give him some other bills, if you don’t mind, sir, as these here bills is counterfeit—not meanin’ any offense, sir."* Nervy Nat—" By Jove! you don't mean It. Well, some rascal passed ‘em off on me—must have been one of my tenants. That's the last time I'll collect rents myself. I have no other kind with me at pres- ent, but I'll get some and be right back. Put it to my account till I return. 6. Orricer O'TooLe—" Ol hardly knew yez, Nat, in all thim glad r-rags."” Nexvy Nat—“ Laugh on, oh, base minion of the law! I knew it would all end this way—with our customary stroll to the house of the green lamps, But little care | what happens now. I had a feast that would throw the gods in a fit. 1 suppose I'll have to give up these garments to those measly gents’ outfitters. But the turkey is beyond their control.’" NERVY NAT’S MERRY CHRISTMAS.