Judge, 1904-12-17 · page 19 of 48
Judge — December 17, 1904 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines humorous nautical anecdotes with contemporary political satire about the Russo-Japanese War (1904-1905). **The main cartoons**: The upper illustration shows sailors receiving Christmas gifts; the lower shows a Russian family ("Gittoutski Kickkemoff") disappointed by missing presents. The satire here is that Japanese toy soldiers—representing Japan's military—have "captured all our other gifts and marched away," a dark joke about Japan's military victories against Russia. **The final cartoon** depicts missionaries claiming to be from "the seat of war," seeking Christmas charity—satirizing how the war displaced people seeking aid. **The broader point**: These vignettes mock how even Christmas cannot escape the intrusions of real-world troubles—shipwrecks, maritime hardship, and especially the ongoing Russo-Japanese War, which was dominating 1904 headlines. The satire suggests that conflict and misfortune penetrate all aspects of life, even festive occasions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN OLD SALT’S OB- SERVATIONS. E was wrecked on Christmas day. We hadn't nothin’ left. We couldn't even find a flag to fly a-signalin’ for aid until a woman that was with us had a happy thought and jest hung up her stockin’, “Th’ ladies of this parish,” remarked the parson, as he glanced around at his Christmas gifts, “must think that I'm a centipede.” “1 should be more inclined to think,” remarked his friend who had_ listened to his sermons ev'ry Sun- day for some time, “that they jest think you must have two feet for ev'ry head you put into your sermons ev'ry Sunday.” He paused and counted. * Or, no,” says he; “that can’t be it after all, tor there ain't near enough slippers here.” And it took all that minister's christianity to keep him from grabbin’ up th’ tongs and brainin’ him. “ Ain't you goin’ to have a Christmas-tree with somethin’ hangin’ on it for your sailors?” asked th’ young seaman of th’ old man durin’ his first v'yage. “No,” re- marked th’ captain; “but I've already got a cross- tree, and if you don’t go and hang on that your- “There's one good thing about Christmas." “What's that ?”* «It makes you forget your other troubles."* in th’ cabin holler, * Mer- ry Christmas! Peace on earth!" “That's all right,” th’ captain grum- bles, also hearin’ it; “but us folks ain't on earth— we ‘re out to sea.” Us old folks don't appreciate th’ importance of th’ little things to childhood. I remember my first Christmas, It brought me my first sled. Only five things in after life stand out as clearly as th’ first sight of that there sled. First is the day I got full command ofa good ship. Second 's when Lyddy said she'd marry me. Third's th’ day she did it, Fourth's th’ day our little boy was born. Fifth, there comes that other bright and shinin’ date when my mother-in-law went home after stayin’ with us for eight months and seventeen days. THE RESULT. T is Christmas morning in the home of Gittout- ski Kickkemoff, in St. Petersburg. From the children arise loud wails of anguish and disap- pointment. Papaski rushes to the nursery, “What is the mat- ter, childrenovitch ?" he ask “We have no pres- entski !" they wail. “No presentsk self til you git that mizzen-fore-peak-gasket scupper furled before I “No. Ivan, to show his patriotism, asked Santaski Clausoffski to give speak ag’in, I'll jest cave in your forehead with a marlin’-spike !" And, him a Japanese toy regimentski and Santaski did, and the Japanese toy as the sailor hustled up th’ icy shrouds he heard th’ phonograph down _regimentski capjured all our other gifts and marched away with them.” THE VERY LATEST. Lapy usHer—*' Gentlemen, what claim have you to our Christmas church-dinner ?"" Hovo cHorus—" Lady! we're a group of unfortunate missionaries from the seat of war."* COPrm\Gnt 1904 By JUDGE COMPANY PUBLISHERS, 226 FOURIM AVE. MEW YORK SacheiB witheion Litho b Pig Co NewYors comicbooks.com