Judge, 1904-12-03 · page 10 of 16
Judge — December 3, 1904 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This 1910s *Judge* magazine page contains humorous observations and cartoons satirizing American social life: **"An Old Salt's Observations"** features a seasoned narrator offering cynical wisdom about impracticality, marriage, and hypocrisy. The Mont Blanc anecdote mocks absurd logic; the women's club story ridicules reformers—a ladies' group condemns working-class drinking while meeting at the luxury Waldorf-Astoria hotel, oblivious to their own privilege. **"Bad and Worse"** and **"Up to the Bride"** joke about marriage and career choices, reflecting period anxieties about choosing spouses and professions. **"Autumn Medley of the Woodlands"** is dialect verse in African American vernacular—typical of era magazines—depicting rural nature scenes with animals. **"Real Carnage"** shows a working-class immigrant father (German accent evident) promising his son a quarter for a football game; he'll soon let him watch violence when the neighbor returns from Thanksgiving, suggesting domestic violence was treated as comedic fodder. The page reflects early 20th-century satirical humor: class commentary, ethnic stereotyping, and casual treatment of social problems as punchlines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN OLD SALT’S OBSERVATIONS. HERE'S a lot of difference between havin’ good hab- its an’ havin’ the habit of bein’ good. * Some folks are so impractical !" says Jones to me. “There was the feller who tried to reach the summit of Mont Blanc by takin’ the New York price of meat to Switzerland an’ climbin’ up on that. Did they reach the summit ?"I inquired, © Oh, no, says he; * because, as they stood upon the summit of the price the summit of the mountain was so far below that they didn’t dast to jump.” Women,” says a man to me, “was give to make man’s joy complete.” What_ makes you say that?” Lasks. “Why,” says he, “ my wife told me that her woman's club had adopted resolution in’ that half of the drink evil among the men of the tenements was caused by the fact that their food at home was poorly cooked, *Where did they adopt this resolution 2" 1 inquired. *At the meetin’ after the club banquet,’ she replies. * Where was it held ?* I asks, ‘At the Waldorf-Astoria,’ she says. *Who cooked the din- ner?’ Tasks. * Why, the hotel-chefs, of course !’ says she, *Oh!"1 : BAD AND WORSE. Tue Lawyer" Him! What makes you think you wish to study to become a lawyer?” Tne appLicant—* Well, me folks object to me bein’ a burglar.” These folks that tell you how to choose a wife are real helpful in their hints. I went to one. “Shall I choose a thin partner for my life?" | asks. “Thin ones, like enough, will he too sickly,” says the sage.“ How about a ice, fat wife?" Tasks. “Fat ones are frivo- “Well, then, the thing for me to do is to find some nice girl about middlin’ fleshed, ain't it?" I inquires, feelin’ real com- Fable because at last I'd struck it,“ Look out for sech a won ys the expert; * for, more 'n probable, she'll he too athletic an’ will beat you, makin’ home a muscle-show." “That don’t leave xo kind of woman [can marry an’ UP TO THE BRIDE. Ki » igs eae Hi ae all be happy with,” I says, complainin’, «It Rs. Goons 0 you are going to be marries lave you made all arrangements x _— : “ . Dinan "No, missy: | ain't dun made ail de ‘rangements. { only got ter buy de ring, git de fur- S¢e™S that way,” replies the prophet, holdin’ niture, rent de flat, buy me some clothes, git mah husband some things, an’ git him a jawb: butdemis out one hand . One dollar, please.” only de least important.” AUTUMN MEDLEY OF THE WOODLANDS. IVAZAY up in de sycamo’, — - Wi ectii ness so sasiyi neste wewhgs LOANED Vor kin see ole Mistah Ci i { Ow SYERYTN His roun’ eyes sharp an" t i \ EXGEPT PIC See him peepin’ down dis way, } j rrahs aay Acohn in his mouf, Happy kase de wren en jay . lab stahted fo’ de souf. Ole Br'er Coon, yo" bettah rush traight off to yo'r hollo Dawgs am sniffin’ froo de bn Cullud men soon follow. See his torch an’ heah him laff, Now his axe am rin, 3 Seon he'll tote yo" up de By yo'r tail a-swing Walk out in de timbah lan’ Des’ es dusk am fallin’; Whar de leabes am dry an’ brown Heah de ole owl callin’. See him flyin’ swif’ an’ low As de’ shaddahs thicken ; Hettah lock de hen-house do’ — Ole owl 's fond ob chicken, What's dat racket in de sky ? * Aehonk ! ashonk !” it soun’ k ob wild geese passin’ by, To de souf dey’s boun’ Ole Aunt Nancy limp erbout. . WWaich dem fom do yahd j . REAL CARNAGE. . Shake her haid an’ sa : Lirte Jaxey—' Fader, gif me a quarter: | vant ter go to der football game und see dem eat von anoder alife. De wintah will be hahd ! Faper—"" Vait, Chakey—vait. Pretty soon Mr. Murphy comes home mit his Thanksgiving chag, und | lets you go VicTOR A. MuxMann, peek trough der vinder.” comicbooks.com