Judge — November 12, 1904 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WEN de weathalefag of + warmah flies, You bettah git yo" coat ; An! wien yo! see de flag fer + coi,” You needn't take no note. W'en de weathah-man ain't weathah-wise He's othahwise, I guess By sciyunce he serves de weathah up, An’ de Lawd—he does de res’. SILAS X. FLOYD, ANOLDSALT’S OBSERVATIONS. 64 [8 heaven,” the parson shouted, we'll all have everything we like !" © "ain't so," my wife said, aft. erchurch, “In heaven we'll all like everything we've got. “You must be very wise,” I said once to an old man, “It ain't the things which I have learned that make me happy,” he replied ; « it's jest the fact that I've been able to forget so much.” The whole philosophy of life is learnin’ how to wait. There was that dealer in fine ladies’ hosiery that committed suicide when six months passed without one real wet day, and thus made business bad. If he had waited jest one week the ham- mock season would have started in and caused a rush call for his goods. “Thear that Jim is drinkin’ hard ight,” I said, “Yes,” was the “he's lost his job and ‘s tryin’ for to drownd his grief in booze.” A week passed. More news had come. SQUARING THE ACCOUNT. Jost Cuuckteweicnr—"" Well, how'd ye come out with yer sum- mer boarders ?"" Henry Lean—"' Oh, purty fair. from waitin’ on that dude: Lat i i i | | | ee HIS MOTIVE POWER. “He made his money :n hops, | believe.”” * Hop-broker ?” “No; married a rich girl who got stuck on his waltzing.” Mother wuz laid up three months an’ thet oldest son went out huntin’ an‘ shot our Holstein heifer: an’ them brat twins burned up the corn crib; but when Lizzie goes to the city they promised to take her fer a ride in their autymobile.”* “Thear that Jim is drinkin’ hard,” [ says again. “ Yes,” was the reply ; “he won twelve dollars on the races, and feels like he had got to cele- brate.” Philosophy is real comfortin’ at times. I had a sailor on my ship whose nose stopped growin’ when he was eight years an’ six months old, while the balance of his body throve tremendous. His nose looked like a shoe-button on a punkin. One v'yage we had a Christian scientist as pas- senger. She notices Billy's misfit features. “I can fix ‘em easy,” she remarks, “by jest prayin’ for more nose for you.” Bill's soul choked full of joy, and he asked her if she would. “Sure thing,” says she; I'll pray real hard, and when your nose is big enough jest let me know and then TI quit." “0. k., and thankee ma‘am !" says Bill. But a month after we had landed her and started back I asked him if his nose had growed. “Nit,” says he; “and I'm so glad I feel like runnin’ up and floatin’ from the masthead like a flag.” Why's that 2” says I. cause,” says he, “I've lost that Chris- tian scientist's address,” says he, “and if it Aad a-growed I never could a-told her when to stop her prayin’. Like enough I'd first looked like Mose Isaacstein, and, later, got a trunk like that an elephant has to use to smell with.” enwaro warswati | wun comicbooks.com