Judge — October 29, 1904 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Russerstein ** Dot's tad taste in Rosengildt—advertising his business."* Hockneimer: *Itain't dot. ‘THE LATEST CABLES FROM CHEFOO. (CHEFOO, September ——A junk, arriving here to-day from Port Arthur, reports that hope is dawning at last for the inmates of the famous stronghold through the origin of a novel plan, as a last resort to save Port Arthur to the czar. As usual, this rumor was * unconfirmed.” It is, however, as fol- lows: Driven to desperation by the fierce, incessant, death-dealing attacks of the Japanese, General Stoessel has wired St. Petersburg for permission to engage the nimble services of former Senator Hill to check the further invasion of the Japanese. General Stoessel’s plan involves the erection of a huge rostrum upon the highest elevation of Golden hill, which commands an unre- stricted range of the various divisions of the attacking Japanese army. It is from this point that General Stoessel proposes that Senator Hill shall make a series of addresses to the Japanese soldiers, during the course of which he will repeat, verbatim, his recent attack upon Presi- dent Roosevelt, his notorious “anything-to-win speech at St. Louis, and his alleged intention to retire from politics next January. How- ever, as a master effort to dumfound the mikado’s men, Senator Hill will explain the incidents in connection with Parker's now famous mes- sage to Sheehan at the St. Louis convention, This proposed attempt to «+ gold-telegram the Japs” is con- sidered the most potent move the Russians have as yet made, and it has undoubtedly inspired the czar’s men with renewed courage, as Senator Hill's St. Louis opera- tions, as well as his previous po- litical achievements, have been explained, and these have evident- ly produced a favorable impres- sion, for the Russian soldiers within Port Arthur are now con- tinuously shouting the new war- cry,“ Hillovich, Hillovich! Any- thing to winski!"” Among those, however, to whom the proposed plan has not been translated in detail there is evidently an un- favorable view taken of the prop- osition, for many of the latter disgustedly exclaim, « Hillski? Humbugovitch ! ski? Flim- flamovitch! Hillski? Goldtele- gramovitch! Ratski !" and similar Kicnes: His little son Ikey ts lost in der crowd und he is showing der diamond as a beacon light.” which are uncomplimentary to Judge Parker's political keep- er, to say the least. At the Chefoo club last night General Stoessel’s proposed radical de- parture from the ethics of mod- ern warfare was the chief topic discussed, and among those who were favorably impressed by the Russian strategic coup was former Democratic Sena- tor Splatterdock, who ex- pressed his opinion in the fol- lowing manner: “Tis a capital move, gen- tlemen, and I doubt not but that it will have the desired effect ; and I believe that David B. Hill will do the trick with the hitherto invincible Japs and send them back to Tokio with a rush. I will explain why I take this view,” continued Sen- ator Splatterdock earnestly. “You are, of course, aware of the fact that the American peo- ple are admittedly leading the world in intellectual and ma- terial directions, and it is equally true that the great state of New York leads America in every important particular, Therefore, any man capable of hoodwinking' the people of the empire state, as, Dave Hill has done for the past twenty years, would quite naturally make short work of all the Oyamas and Pajamas in Japan. Why, look what Hill did to Murphy and his Tammany bushwhackers at St. Louis! Again, recall how Senator Hill side-stepped and double- crossed Bryan at the recent convention, accomplishing the feat in such an effective manner that the Nebraska man is now down and out for fair. But to cap the climax,” said Senator Splatterdock in conclusion, “Senator Hill gold-telegrammed—or, rather, flimflammed—the entire convention with that famous Parker-Sheehan message, which, I regret to say, a number of people, and Democrats at that, still believe to have been the real thing. Hence, should Senator Hill consent to act in the manner indicated, the present war is all off, and nothing remains but the signing of the peace-papers, and the Russian flag will con- tinue to fly over Port Arthur.” Republican neighbor— Pat, four years ago the Democrats prom- ised us sixteen to one if elected. What will it be this year?” Pat (scratching his head) —* Shure, an’ Oi'm thinkin’ ‘twill be nothin’ to ate” (0 to 8). THE BURNING QUESTION. Here, Parker, Parker!"" Democranc rrienb—" Ah, you must be an admirer of the judge to name your dog after him." inelegant but forcible expressions Kepoer—‘No; I call him that because nobody can tell which way he’s heading.”