Judge, 1904-10-15 · page 3 of 16
Judge — October 15, 1904 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humorous pieces typical of late 19th-century American humor magazines: **"A Dream Dispelled"** (top) depicts a countryman's fantasy of a hay wagon ride being disrupted—likely satirizing rural versus urban notions of romance and leisure. **"The Virtuoso"** mocks a horseman displaying excessive theatrical skill, suggesting pretension or showing off. **"Hereditary"** is a brief dialogue joke about inherited traits. **"Wasted"** and **"The Dyer's Hand"** appear to be short comedic pieces about domestic or working-class mishaps. **"A Heavenly Possibility"** (bottom) references the hanging of "Roarin' Dan" and "Bronco Bill," making dark humor about frontier outlaws meeting in heaven—reflecting period fascination with Wild West villainy. The overall tone is genteel Victorian satire targeting rural life, pretension, and frontier stereotypes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Ah, there's nothing like a ride in the country, on a load of fragrant hay, to bring sweet forgetfulness of the grasping city's nerve- racking rush for gold. Among these simple, open- hearted people, who never know the value of a dollar—why, I feel like a pert little bird on a sway- ing bough. ‘THE VIRTUOSO. E LED off with the left and made a dash At Chopin's nocturne, opus twenty-three, In A(sia) minor, and "twas brave to see Him tackle Liszt's Hungarian goulash. The grand piano almost went to smash When Wagner numbers followed fast and free. ‘The audience heard the weird cacophany, And, silent, mourned the loss of hard-won cash. But now the artist makes a fresh assault Boldly upon the pliant instrument, ‘And, freed from classicism’s hide-bound laws, He pounds the willing keys without a halt. It is Bedelia,” and the air is rent With one long, ringing salvo of applause. EUGENE GEARY. HEREDITARY. He— Yes, but you should have seen the ones my great-grandmother used to bake !” She—"Why, what on earth can you know". He—«I've heard my grandfather speak to my grandmother about them.” Bronco Bitt—"' Just before Roarin’ Dan was lynched he said he hoped he would meet all de boys in heaven.” Gruzty Pete—' Did, eh?” Bronco Bitt- Yes; an’ de boys sald dey hoped so, Joo, s0 dey could have de fun uv lynchin’ him over ag’In.”” 2. ——What the "—— 3. ——deuce is the matter?” WASTED. ABOUT her waist he put his arm. She did not scream, she did not shout, Or tremble with a wild alarm— She didn't even seem put out. She did not struggle or grow red, As one would naturally opine. (Right here I think it might be said Her waist was hanging on the line.) REYNALE SMITHC PICKERING, ‘THE DYER’S HAND. Brittles (who collects things)—" He's the only one of that family that can tell the truth.” Mrs, Brittles—* Well, it's a good thing one of them can.’ Brittles—“ Oh, 1 don't know. It spoils the set.” 4, Tue soapMan—" Yew jest shell out ten dollars 4 QOME die,” said Pat, “in their right mind, fer that bar'l o' soap, mister, or I'll prosicute yew." [Aa Gibera whlh theyre Guay; THe Havuan—" An’ ef yew don’t cough up ce feos. thutty dollars fer my hay yer cigar burnt up I'll But the aisiest death av all, Oi find, hev the law on yer afore night.” Begob! is euthanaisy."" 5 te’ A HEAVENLY POSSIBILITY.