Judge — October 1, 1904 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ONE WEEK’ WITH THE JAPS. (The diary of a side tracked cor. respondent. Mo DAY.— Haven't much of an idea where we are—Deerboy of the London Chimes, that is, and mysel{—but imagine on fair authority that this place we're in now is Slam Bang Whang. We arrived here last night by rail, coming from Haio Wow in an abandoned Russian cabooski, pulled by a for- mer engine of the Sixth- avenue elevated. I rec- ognized the latter at We would have made good time en route had it not been that both our engineer and fireman were Japs and acting un- der orders from General Ogee to limit the speed of touring war-corre- spondents to three miles hour, two around Still, as Deer- boy said on our arrival, it might have been worse. They might have linked us to a ball and chain and made us walk, We are now, as near as I can figure out, twenty-seven miles in the rear of the Jap rear guard. Tuesday.—Left Slam Bang Whang at sunri about noon. Walked all the way—three-quarters of a mile—through Chinese mud. Deerboy, who can talk the jargon a little, learned with some difficulty from a native pushcartier that the Japs passed through Kerchoo last Thursday. Heard several Mongolians discussing some- thing excitedly, but couldn't learn what. Think it was a rumor. Wednesday.—Saw a puff of white smoke on a hillside, eight miles to the north. Wrote graphic description. May have been artillery duel with noiseless powder. once. TO BREAK an Mrs. Poewer Mr. Poemer: more.” *: From whom, dear?” curves. —Her father. and reached Kerchoo “ul Mr. Poewer—"' You know that poem Ethel wrote? Well, she got twenty dollars for it." He gave her twenty dollars to tear it up and not write any Thursday, — Fierce luck. Had pushed on as far as Ding-a-ling when we were stopped by a Japanese picket and sent back thirty miles in a sutler’s wagonette cause we were getting too close to the front. Deerboy is in a blue funk. Says he hoped to reach the back of the front, at least, by Friday, and now look at where we War is all that Sherman said it and thi be- are! man said it was—of a war, Friday.— Woke up the sutler’s wagon this morning and found that, instead of taking us back to Kerchoo, our es- cort had brought us to Hi Low. Deerboy is heart broken. He left his portable bath-tub at the Kerchoo press-club, and had just remembered it. He fears its seizure as contraband of war. Was partially reconciled this afternoon by a view from a hill-top of a magnificent engagement. Later it proved to be some Manchurian farm-hands burning brush-wood. Saturday.—Knocked off war-corresponding at twelve o'clock sharp and bought some souvenir spoons in the afternoon. Sunday.—Decided that both of us must die—shot on the field of battle. Deerboy wrote my obituary and I wrote his—got to give our papers something somehow. Took the stuff down to the censor-mill, and Major Cuttemoutti, the Jap in charge, refused to pass it. Said he wouldn't send our stories through unless we confirmed them right there on the spot. These Japs have no news sense. Now they even want me to give up this diary. That is asking justa bit too much of me. I shall decline to do so in a dignifi way V i i} in THE HABIT. MARRY HAMILTON, A “MODEL” FINANCIER, ‘The butcher has “ ewes” for money, The baker “ kneads"* dough, too; The cremating trust ‘* urns” all its dust, But the auto-repairer leaves not a sou. comicbooks.com