Judge — October 1, 1904 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Is your husband up yet he early-morning caller. “1 guess he is,” replied the stern-look- ng woman. "I'd like to say a few words to him.” “So would I. He hasn't come home yet."—Catholie Standard. inquired First physician—"So the operation was just in the nick of time 2” ‘Second physician—* Yes ; in another twenty-four hours the patient would have recovered without it."— Harper's Bazar, Increase your strength, ward off ill health, use Abbott's Angostura ‘Bitters, the strength giver. Brown—"1 have just discovered what it is that destroys a man’s memory com- pletely.” en—“ What is it—alcohol or to- Brown— Neither ; it is doing him a| favor."—Chicago News. “Supposing your apology is not satis- factory ?” said the grand vizier. «Send ‘em another,” answered the sul- tan of Turkey. “We have all kinds con- stantly in stock, and it’s no trouble to show goods.” Washington Star, das all the excellence that can only come of good pees and malt, pure spring-water and superior method of brewing—and bottling. Ale in its best and most enjoyable form. Fair passenger—" Won't you have a hat makes you | Fair passenger— 1 thought you'd be | nore comfortable while women nd- | if you could hide your face ! ica- To Prevent Loss of Hair wo the hair once a_week with Sulphur Soap. ‘The sulphur is absorbed by the hair and revives ae cures dandruff. Refuse all substitutes for Glenn’s Sulphur Soap A for ane. by THE Mier New Vor Hil's Hair and Whisker Dye, Tilack or Brown, to cts, E “SOHMER” HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS SOHMER PIANOS Sohmer Building, Only miewroom Sth Aves, cor 2d St. in Creauer Sew York. Litlle Fohnny—* Say, pa, will you buy me a paif of roller-skates 2” Pa—* What in the name of common sense do you want with a pair of roller- skates ?” Little Fohnny—“ Why, pa, I want to use them for mowing the lawn in summer and shoveling snow in winter. What else could I use them for, pa?”—Cincinnati Enquirer. “Do you feel rested after your vaca- tion “ Yes,” replied the man of misanthropic tendencies, + After all that railway travel and sunburn and rowing and tennis, or- dinary work seems like blissful repose.” —Washington Star, It would be idle to attempt to prove the popularity of the Sohmer Piano. Every child in the United States and Canada knows the Sohmer. Giffle— Jimpson’s rather an odd sort of fellow, isn’t he 2” spi Why, he’s eccentric to the verge of lunacy. Always got a good word for everybody." — Pittsourg Post. HUMOROUS WORK AND GREAT PRESIOCHT MAKER \“*FOR PEOPLE WHO LAUGH” bout which letters, sometimes hundreds daily, have, for ha, been sent teoadeaat. ‘Mone front all ai inigbty humor, at Oftce of Prensden Of the selection of the. pose to elect hn, “Why do they refer to a group of equines as a string of horses ?" “I don't know, unless it's because they tie up a man’s money.” Dealer. The Truth Can be told about Great Western Champagne There is nothing to conceal ints produce tion. Tt is Paretra Juice, fermented and aged to exact perlec- tion for healthiciness, possessing. the Dou? Guet and favor that Connoisseurs. desire. PLEASANT VALLEY WINE CO., Sole Makers, Rbelass, N.Y. wiTHouT ADULTERATION o CHOCOLATE UNEQUALLED FOR QUALITY ano FLAVOR GROCERS EVERYWHERE. Cleveland Plain | AFTER a morning’s shopping much nothing will recuperate you so as one of those delicious Club Cocktails. They are the correct thing to offer your friends whenever they call. They are both a tonic and stimulant, and fill a distinct place of their own. Easily served and ap- preciated by ladies and gentlemen alike, they prefer. Of all dealers. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., NEW YORK HARTFORD Martin Buy some Manhattan and , and ask your friends which Specify CLUB COCKTAILS. Sole Proprietors LONDON “Don't you think he lacks aplomb ?"| asked Mrs. Oldcastle. “Well,” replied her hostess, “I don't know, but at the dinner the other night it did seem to me as though he couldn't get enough peaches."—Chicago Record- Herald. “Are you teaching that parrot swear?” ‘asked the benevolent-looking lady with unwonted indignation in her tone. «Bless you, ma’am !" answered the old sailor. “No, indeed, ma'am ; I'm taking lessons."— Washington Star. | to ars, Annex—« Vil tell you what Till |do, Bridget. If you'll consent to stay I'll raise your wages.” Bridget —* Listen to her, wud ye? Raise me wages, indade! Ye'll incrase me salary; that’s phwat ye'll do."—Brook- lyn Life. Mrs. Highmore (with cold dignity)— “To what am I indebted for the honor ot this visit ?” Unexpected caller—* To your careless servant, perhaps, madam. I dare say she forgot that you Were not at home."—Chi- cago Tribune. To Shave Not to Shave! 1. for the hea!th—so "SHAVING eh or Every man should It looks better and is better the doctors say. But in shave—or be shaved. order to shave with ease, comfort and safety, there’s only one soap and that’s Williams’ Shaving Soap. Unless you use that, it’s better not to shave. Here is one of the greatest generals the world has ever known, who as long as he shaved, always used Williams’ Shaving Soap. Cut out and unite Figures 1 and 3, and they show him shaven as he appeared during his second term as president of the United States. show him with a full beard, Figures 1 and 2 united, OUR OFFER To any one sending us the correct name of this famous General, with a 2-cent stamp to cover cost of mailing, we will forward, post-paid, a most useful and ingenious pocket tool, called the 7riplet, a key-ring, letter-opener, paper-cutter and screw-driver combined, and an article that every man and boy will find many uses for every day. Williams’ Shaving, Tal ks, Shavinj ‘Tablets, Toilet Waters, jeu Powder, etc., sold everywhere. Write for Free Booklet, “How to Shave.” THE J. B. WILLIAMS CO., Depi. 17, Glastonbury, Conn. “Defender of the Rails—The New York Central.”’—Utica Herald. comicbooks.com