Judge, 1904-09-24 · page 6 of 16
Judge — September 24, 1904 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple humor pieces typical of Judge magazine's early 20th-century satirical style: **"HIS METHOD"** appears to mock a political orator (likely a candidate) whose theatrical gestures and empty rhetoric aim to sway voters in the 1908 election cycle—references to Parker, Davis, Roosevelt, and Fairbanks suggest 1904-1908 presidential politics. The satire ridicules flowery "silver tongue" oratory disconnected from substance. **"A PRACTICAL STUDENT"** is a simple children's joke about a pig studying arithmetic, playing on "square root." **"A NEW GRIEVANCE"** satirizes women's fashionable "sky-scraper" hairstyles as obstructing theater-goers' views—a common complaint of the era. Other pieces include light anecdotes ("An Old Salt's Observations"), puns ("Literally True," "Apropos"), and observational humor about modern life (automobiles, sign-painters vs. novelists, marital complaints). The overall tone is genteel, domestic satire with occasional political jabs—characteristic of Judge's middle-class readership and pre-WWI American humor conventions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HIS METHOD. IIS thus I sway And twist awry, And cause my gray Matter to fly. SILVER TonGue ORATION. "Tis thus T skip ‘And leap and vault, And cke flap-Alip And somersault. As I salaam, My airy wit And epigram I fairly spit, That Parker, when The leaves are brown, With Davis, Hen. May quick go down, And that Roosevelt Then they will win And Fairbanks may And all elate A PRACTICAL STUDENT. The great pie belt The land will grin Ma toc—* Well, what are you studying in your arithmetic, piggy 2” Carry that day. ‘Till nineteen-eight. 1ccy—"' I'm interested very much in a problem of square root, ma." spilled my box of beads. Besides,” says he thoughtfully, “he was of the same color as the night. He was of atint like mine.” Then, thinks and says I, he was about as well qualified to lead me through the wilderness as Parker is to save the country. A NEW GRIEVANCE, NO loner I sit behind her hat, It’s something I say that’s worse than that. She's taken a fancy to fix her hair In a sort of a strange “sky-scraper" affair 5 And tho’ I may dodge this way and that, It's as bad as it was behind her hat LITERALLY TRUE. Faggles— Was the mermaid pees very scared when the dime-museum Did you attend the automobile dance at the country club last night?"” caught fire ?" No, What did they dance—breakdowns 2” Waggles—“ 1 should say so. She jumped right out of her skin.” AN OLD SALT’S OBSERVATIONS. HIS STATUS. ] WAS ashore on the coast of Africky. The chief asked me to eat MeGuyer—" There goes one of our best-known men of letters.” with him an’ spend the evenin’. He promised to have a feller MeGawk—" \ndeed? A novelist, | presume ?” show me the way to the ship afterwards, I stayed till midnight. MeGuyer—" No; he’s a sign-painter.” ‘Then I started out and lost my course seventeen times before I got to the boat, meetin’ a tiger, a cobra, a hoot-owl and a elephant (wild) ; fallin’ over vines, into holes and ag'inst trees and other things ; barkin’ my shins, bloodin’ my nose, blackin’ my eye, stubbin’ my toe and losin’ my temper. It was an awful dark night. Next day I treated the chief some cool, like, and he asked me why.“ You didn’t have your man there to show me the way and I got into all sorts of messes, That's why!" says I. “He was there,” says he. “I didn't see him,” says 1. He was waitin’ for you under the tree,” says he. “I couldn't see over the tree, let alone under it,” says I. « Alas!" says the king, “what have I done? It was a dark night, and the man couldn't call to ADDING: INSULT TO INJURY. you, for I had his tongue re- ro Ancogtn Tnoved recently because he to ap tihiire (swetty)—'" You're so very changeable, John. You made an awfulhow! this morning when | asked you / comicbooks.com