Judge — September 17, 1904 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A SPOT-MATCHING MONKEY. [PON the stoop, throughout the autumn day, I sit and listen to the sobbing And poker with a vim that’s big I play And swift the chips come rolling in to me, What care 1 if sarcastic people sigh Of us, who ‘re blithe as sun-kissed Hottentots, The while we make the hearts and aces fly, + They're but four grinning monkeys matching spots."” keys matching spots, abn ¢ having cords of fi Upon the top of sport’s cocoa-nut Milking the cocoanut of joy ag! ALGERNON'S COMPOSITION. HE madder is a plant. Turkey-red is made from the roots of the madder. A red turkey is a turkey mad, When a turkey is madder than mad it is not the turkey-red adder. Turkey-red is not turkey mad, but a mad turkey is red. Red madder is not a mad turkey, but a turkey red isa turkey mad. Madder is raised in Asia. The turkey is raised in the barnyard. ELIGIBLE. PONCE DE LEON had just discovered the fountain of youth, «Hooray !" he shouted,“ Now | can run for vice-president on the Demo- cratic tick Saying which, he went and sold ten bottles of elixir at the nearest cut-rate drug-store, THE BOARD OF HEALTH. AN APPROPRIATE TRANSFER—A STORY IN WAITIN’ FO’ DE FALL. PICTURES. o de trees T's waitin’ fo' de gray r rustle in de breeze Fall sky an’ autumn day, An’ shine in crimson, russet, gold an’ red, At de end ob all de good old summer time, t de woods fo' fair, When little Bob White cum + An’ eb'ry pa'tridge dr When de rabbit am achuntin’ fo" de bread. An’ de frus’ at mornin’s shinin’ like a dime. T's longin’ fo" de white Big moon dat floods de night— Recause I loves ter hunt beneath de moon, Den de game is eber nigh Beneath de quiet sky Dat’s de time ter hunt de"possum an’ de coon. A SLIP OF THE TONGUE. He (apologetically, as clock strikes) —"" Why, [am late in leaving to-night !" She (with best intentions)—" Well, better late than never, you know.” AT THE WHIST-CLUB. Hostess (in astonishment) “Twas surprised that Mrs. Newbegin won the prize. It VME Te tee ise Read ; ‘ = © was just due to dumb luck.” She muinces and muinces and muinces.”” ys Mrs. spert—“* Dumb T luck, indeed! Why, she chat- tered every minute,” FICKLE APPETITE, ally eats nothing but quinces,” cen said concerning the pruincess. And when we entreat CHANGED HIS TUNE. ‘ ‘] KNEW a feller once,” said the nail-keg_ philosopher, “who often said he would not take a million dollars for his wife. She run off with a fruit- tree agent, and he offered a re- ward of ten dollars for her.” STILL GLAD OF IT. SOLD man, I over- heard you pro- posing to Miss Flipp in the conservatory. I con- gratulate you.” But she refused me, “Then I do congrat- ulate you.” HEART-ACHES. Me, Mac—"' Billy, I regrets ter say dat our engagemint | F YOU spend too much has fot ter be broke off.” 5 for your trunk you», iLLy—"* Wot's de trouble now ?"" : s Mac—"Me ma won't leave me wear yer ring no Will have no money left nore ‘cos it makes me finger black.” for the trip. comicbooks.com