Judge — September 17, 1904 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AIDEN seated in the train, Pocket full of money. Down beside her sits a man— Maiden thinks it funny. Quickly speeds the train along, In a tunnel enters. Maiden’s thought most anxiously On her pocket centres. Quietly her little hand, Toward the money stealing, Finds a hand already there, Robbery revealing. Fiercely clutches she the hand, On hysterics verging, Waiting till the train shall be From the dark emerging. Into sunlight now at last Train shoots like a rocket. Maiden finds she has her hand In the stranger's pocket. MARRIEY JOMNSON MCLELLAN. HER IDEA OF IT. Mamma—* That is the marine hospital, Dor- d ¢ othy.” FASHIONS FOR MEN. Dorothy—*Oh, is it? That's where all the The "perfect * combination collar and tie prevents headache and soothes the tired brain. people who get seasick are taken, isn’t it, mamma?” A SHREWD YOUNG LADY. Her friend—\ wonder how it will end?” THE election was several weeks distant, but, taking time by the forelock, I proposed to Miss Novelreader— Can't imagine. Wouldn't a certain young lady that we make a bet of several kisses on the result. I was rather it be nice if they'd play the last act first 7° amazed at my own audacity, and was half inclined to fear that she would call her father to help me on my way to the street, and I was, there- fore, very much surprised to hear her say, “Twill take your bet; but as the election doesn’t come for some time, I suppose that it would be more business-like if we made a depésit or put up a forfeit, or whatever you men call it.” The deposit was made. THE CAMPAIGN ORATOR. a THE campaign orator now oils his gills Like f : And preens his whiskers for the coming fray. “iy ) @, A J ~ass Great opportunities now come his way— tO Yi The sapient committce foots the bills. And won't he ventilate the nation’s il It is his season bright for making hay While shines the sun—and moon—ten plunks a day, Expenses paid. He goes the pace that kills. ‘Throughout the summer and the early fall The baseball hero proudly held the boards ; But now he takes an ignominious drop. PLURAL. A brighter satellite holds us in thrall ; Iki al hws we Wott LA Sour ease He gets the best this glorious land affords. Prisoner—" Wimmen, miss—wimmen! Huh! If dere wuz only one it'd bin all right. Dere ‘The hired Demosthenes is now on top. wuz five er six. Dat's wot I’m here fer. I’m a bigamist."” HUGENE GEARY. AQUA ESSENCE. Doctor—“ Did that drug-clerk say anything when you asked i him if he had added the aqua pura to the prescription 2” Assistant—" Nothing. He just smiled acquiescence.” It IS sometimes difficult to know enough not to know too much, ‘THE REASON. [Mynot a shallow, empty thing ‘As you might very well suppose ; I'm not a monkey on the wing, Nor even in repose. I know my temples swift recede, And that I am indeed a guy ; And many think I only feed On angel-cake and pic. But I can tell you I am full Of soundest, horsy common sense, And have the strength of ary bull ‘That ever leaped a fence. And I will to you further say, That you the case may understand, ne Bridge-whist throughout the night and day “Was it a ‘ slippery elm?” T play to beat the band. 5 “No; a ‘blasted pine,’ ” FOREST FACETIOUSNESS. Mr. Raccoon—''I met with a fall while attempting to climb a tree from a comicbooks.com