Judge, 1904-09-10 · page 6 of 16
Judge — September 10, 1904 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge (early 1900s) contains political satire centered on the 1904 presidential election between Republican Theodore Roosevelt and Democrat opponent. **"Preparation"** celebrates Roosevelt's campaign through a child's drum-playing fantasy—leaves become ballots for "Roosevelt and Fairbanks" (the Republican ticket). It's cheerful propaganda. **"The Predigested Vote"** mocks the importance placed on "special interest" voting blocs—particularly breakfast-food consumers. The satire suggests politicians obsess over capturing predetermined voter groups rather than appealing to independent thought. **Other humor** includes standard period jokes: a pickpocket's "intelligence" shown by locating a lady's pocket; a child's impolite response to receiving bologna; baseball umpire humor; automobile speeding jokes; and a pun about "spark-arrester." **"The Turn of the Tide"** (bottom illustration, text unclear in OCR) appears unrelated to the election theme. The page primarily ridicules electoral pandering and special-interest politics—concerns that remain relevant today.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PREPARATION. [3M ver much in earnest, And so I make things hum When with the shining drumstick I hammer on the drum. For now am I in practice To march along the street When round in scarlet eddies The leaves whirl down the street. My fancy paints each leaflet A ballot in its flight For Roosevelt and for Fairbanks While on the drum I smite. So listen to me banging For Roosevelt all the day, While all the happy people Shout loud, “ Hip, hip, hooray !" PROOF POSITIVE. Hawhins—" That pickpocket they caught is really a very intelli- gent fellow.” Sampson— No doubt of it. locate a lady’s pocket.” He proved that by his ability to LE ZA) POLITE. Motner (to son, who has been given a piece of bologna)—* Well, Bobby, what do you say to the gentleman?" Bossy—*' Give us some more.” THE PREDIGESTED VOTE. AGAIN the dizzy days approach When votes with keenest zeal are sought ; When Rep. and Dem. persuasive grow And silver tongues, well oiled, ex- hort. ‘The foreign vote must captured be ; The labor vote "s a vital thing ; The independent vote is prime ; But, ah! if either side could bring One vote still vaster into camp, And keep it e’er in happy moods, ‘Twould win with ease. And that's the vote Of those who eat the breakfast- foods. What vote in all the blooming land Would quite compare with this in size? ‘There's not a one ; and now suppose The predigested host should rise, Declare itself, affiliate With Reps. or Dems. and wield its pow'r? Zounds! what a civic monster! Zounds! The ballot of the uncooked hour! These knights of push, of pull, of snap, Of shove and grit, and all their broods, Would sweep things on election day And show the might of breakfast- foods. ‘Sue—" What a handsome umpire! He—" Wait a while, After you see a few of his decisions you will feel like throwing a bat at him.” we aarrenxt NY A RAM-BLING REMARK. Pa Rau—' Remember, now, | shall rather hear of you as being hard- headed than thick-skulled.”” Son—“' Yes, pa; I'll be careful about buttin’ in.” THE AUTO COP. SUES,” says the officer to the sergeant, holding to his prisoner, “I took this young man into custody for speeding his auto tco fast. He was riding through the park with a young lady, and was evidently paying more atten- tion to her than to his machine, and did not seem to know that the autp was going twenty miles _ an hour.” “ Sparking her, was he ?" asks the sergeant, opening the blotter. “That makes him a spark- arrester, doesn’t it?" asks the pris oner. QUALIFICATIONS. A CHOICE of heroes now we have, As any one may see. One rests his fame on San Juan hill And one on David B. SOME folks would best be fed with a long-handled spoon. THE TURN OF THE TIDE. I should like to throw a kiss at him.”’ comicbooks.com