Judge, 1904-08-20 · page 3 of 16
Judge — August 20, 1904 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humor pieces and illustrations typical of early-20th-century Judge magazine: **"Hi Hunks's Happiness"** (top left): A poem about a farmer's contentment with his animals and crops, accompanied by a sketch of a rustic figure. **"Cinderella's After-Thought"**: A brief text joke playing on the fairy tale, suggesting the prince may be a "shoe-clerk in disguise." **"Can You Guess It?"** (center): A crowded tavern scene where two characters debate whether a medical procedure ("doctors cut out ay ye") is memorable—appears to be period wordplay. **"Same Thing"** and **"A Stay-at-Home"**: Short humorous pieces about travel preferences and summer destinations. **"On Common Ground"**: A joke about a "barefaced truth" meeting a "bald lie," with punchlines involving occupations (hair-restorer, mustache-grower). **"Its Disadvantage"** (bottom): An auto-industry joke about expense. The content is primarily domestic humor without evident political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HI HUNKS’S HAPPINESS, ALTHOUGIL the old pertater-bog Around the furrers hops, ‘The cider that will brim the jug Into my dream just pops { So I don't worry much about Pertaters, don’t you sce? When They cider I'kin shout ‘An’ very thankful be. ‘The pigs are gettin’ good an’ fat, An’ so 's the hens an’ lambs ; An’ soon the beams, I'll bet my hat, Will bendin’ be with hams. So Twill very thankful be, Though the pertaters fail, For lots of turkeys now I see A.settin’ on the rail. Among the corn-stalk’s russet ranks T hear the wild dove coo, blame chock ful of thanks joy Tfill my old *corn-cob An’ smoke to beat the band. CINDERELLA'S AFTER-THOUGHT. CINDERELLA had just finished the slipper-fitting episode. « Dear me!" she remarked as her lover was dusting off his knees, * I do hope he EXPLANATIVE. is a real prince and not a shoe-clerk in disguise.” What's this strange digital display? Has the ball-player Only the assurances of the fairy godmother that everything was as represented hurt his thumb? No. | He ts the captain of the deaf-and- dumb nine, and is merely calling the umpire a liar with his made the young woman keep the engagement intact. fingers. SAME THING. COYVILLIAM JENNIN'S BRYAN,” asserts the man with the long whiskers, “holds the record for political speeches in this country.” “You might call it the phonograph record,” suggests the man with the cold, unfeeling eye. A STAY-AT-HOME. ried as to where I'll go e balmy summer months away— Old Point Comfort, or Cape May Are places quite acceptable, I trow, To cut a shine in Newport's y Would be delightful, more than I can s. ’Mong beauty's fairest queens. These gilded joys are not for me, I know. a trip to Coney is my fate, Where radiantly the soulful sausage gleams From out the pale, blond bunlet—back ag. misery to contemplate, my furnished room, till blissful dreams Bring glory, wealth and real estate ON COMMON GROUND. ONCE upon a time the barefaced truth met the bald lie. “ Hello!" said the barefaced truth, “Tam glad to meet you, What is your line of work 2" “Lam a hair-restorer advertisement,” said CAN YOU GUESS IT? the other. Mixe—“' An’ phat fs it ails Kehoe ?"" Pat—' Shure, Oi can't remimber th’ name av it but it's thot thing th’ doctors cut out av ye Tceesperded nthe (Bis ST vam a whether ye've got it or not.” ITS DISADVANTAGE. “Ils an auto expensive?” "Ob, yes, If tradesmen think you can afford an auto they expect to charge you fifty per cent. more for everything you buy.”* comicbooks.com