Judge, 1904-07-23 · page 7 of 16
Judge — July 23, 1904 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains satirical commentary on charitable hypocrisy. The main story mocks a physician, Dr. I.M. Smoothwon, who donates small amounts to a "fresh-air and green-grass society" sending poor urban children to farms—ostensibly altruistic. However, the joke reveals his real motivation: the children return sick and injured (poisoning, bruises, malaria, indigestion), and he profits by treating them, collecting $287.50 in medical fees against his $50 donation. The satire exposes how "well-placed philanthropy" can mask self-interested schemes. The surrounding illustrations appear to be unrelated humorous vignettes about fishing and sailor mishaps, typical filler content for such magazines. The piece critiques both middle-class charitable pretense and the exploitation of vulnerable populations under the guise of social improvement—common Progressive Era satirical targets.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
REASON IN HIS APPROVAL. 46] HEARD to-day,” remarked the aimless wanderer of the club, “of a really pathetic case of self-denial. You know that young physician, Dr. I. M, Smoothwon ? He is a struggling practitioner, and not endowed with an over- supply of this world's goods. Yet when the fresh-air and green-grass society went to him for assistance to send a lot of the children away to the country for a few weeks he sacrificed his own plans and contributed what little he had saved up for his own trip to the cause.” + Yes,” said the investigating chap; “it is his regular annual stunt.” «Does he do it every year?” asked the aimless wanderer in surprise. “Every year,” repeated the investigating chap. “I heard about it last summer, and one evening, when we had had several heart-warming decoctions togeth- er, he opened his heart to me and explained. “*You see,’ said he, ‘these children are accustomed only to a steady diet of corned beef, pota- THE LIMITED. tion In travel."* toes and bread. They are taken to the farm, which is a beautiful place, and al lowed to roam over it un- checked, They go barefoot in the fields, gathering new ideas and stone-bruises as they play, collecting flowers and poison-ivy leaves, and catching butterflies and ma- laria, It does the little fel- lows a lot of good in some ways, and gives the fresh- air and green-grass society that comfortable feeling of benefiting humanity. Iam interested because I like children, and have made 1 them a special study in my ‘Wuarr-rats—"* Boys, here's that old nearsighted sailor! Let's play fish on him."* practice. They drink but- termilk, eat half-ripe fruit, get poisoned, stump innumera- ble toes, and re- turn to the city very happy, but a good deal the worse for the wear,’ “He paused and drew from his pocket a small account- book. «Last year, he continued, *T contributed fifty dollars to the fund. I had twenty cases of poisoning, thir- ty-five of bruis- es and breaks, —Get hold here, somebody! I've hooxed a sturgeon! — HE THOUGHT HE CAUGHT A WHALE. Luminous Luxe—"' Well, if dis don't beat car-trucks—meals a la carte, an’ widout even leavin’ your berth! Dat's wot I calls de acme uv perfec and eighteen of acute indi- gestion when the little dears got back—and naturally the manag- ers of the society called on me to treat the patients after I had done so much for their happiness. I collected two hundred and eighty-seven dollars and fifty cents from the bunch—and didn't have to go out of my office. That's ~ why you will always see me sac- <. rificing my own pleasure for the furtherance of the society's work.’ “Seems to be a case of well- placed philanthropy,” concluded the investigating chap. “The drinks,” said the aim- less wanderer, “are on me. What will you have JACK APPLETON. CONSIDER THE SEA-GULL. Wherever the gull may be? He's always doing something, Though he’s always out at sca. He's watching for picnic parties ‘That will bring, some summer day, Sweet delicatessen lunches And toss the shells in the bay. Oh, the sea-gull 's never a quitter— He flaps o'er the coral cave. Oh, he's up in the air and doi While others loaf on the wave. 2, Cartan Saumy—"‘Great sea-cow: Must have a dog- fish on.— QPPORTUNITIES may be made, but, of course, there must be opportunities to make them. 4. —Nothin’ less ‘n a whale ever pulled Cap'n Sammy Swipes overteard.” comicbooks.com