Judge — July 2, 1904 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN OLD SALT’S OBSERVA- SParrine Then I had some trouble with th GOODS’ water-pipes. Later—that’s what GOODY. TIONS. WHEN Twas real certain about Ban makes me look so dusty like—2 things I used to say, “As y S , : sewer-connection busted, an’ I had sure as shootin.” But then I ly s to crawl under th’ house to fix it.” learned that in modern warfare Wl ees hae Sid “Tag !" says I.“ You're it,” says sixteen hundred pounds of lead 4 : be I. Livin’ at sea, I never have are shot for ev'ry man that's killed, * Se P th’ same front yard twice, an’ an’ now I've changed my sayin’ to 3 don't have to mow th’ seaweed. “As sure as bettin’ on th’ races,” / f 1 Th’ hull ocean is my sewer, an’ referrin’, not to th’ certainty of Yl PR (Sy it's th’ most sanitary ever known. winnin’, but to that of goin’ broke. f NAG An’ as for water, why, I make my Tain’t seen no reason for to make Z sailors fill my tanks when I'm in another change. port.” We had our weddin’-tour g ee iy A “Why,” asked th’ pretty pas- right here on th’ ship. What ' F senger of me, “do you allus speak makes th’ ocean look so blue . ; 7 of ships as‘she"?" Oh,” says asks Lyddy of me. « Reflectin’ of er u I, “it's because they're so grace- your eyes,” I says, real gallant. ! fs ful an’ so useful an’ so lovable, an* There come a sea change. “1 ola answer to th’ helm so quick, an’ know what makes it look so |W ye make you love ‘em so, an’ are so green,” says she, an’ looked me 4 j 4 i stanch in rough weather, an’ so over, laughin’ so that I jest felt B A A gen'ly charmin’,” I says, real gal- fluttered. Then I stepped back a x) , 4 lant. An‘ then I went to th’ chart- mite away from the rail, so that I 30) /') es room, where th’ engineer was couldn't he reflected in th’ water. t Ssyckd Lies waitin’ with an estimate of th’ cost “There!” says she. “It's blue of repairs to th’ machinery, an’ ag’ ay Ws bretemes ee th’ first mate with a guess at th’ Some women are jést great f : cost of necessary new sail-cloth, on argument. I remember that : an’ th’ bosun’s mate with a kick jest after we was married I was ge from the crew for more wages an’ a-guyin’ Lyddy ‘bout her hoop- J / aia better grub. Then I hustled for skirts, “1 know a woman,” then Ne =a that pretty passenger. I wanted she says to me, "that would ‘a’ me ied to tell her another reason—I want- been a-drownded if it hadn't been : ed to say to her, An’ ‘cause for hoop-skirts. When she went they're so expensive.” But I overboard they jest ballooned TERRIBLY IGNORANT. couldn't find her nowheres. Th’ around her an’ held her up till O'Pick—"' Shure, Ol used to be th'divil on these music-boxes wanst, but Stewardess said she was in her help come.” But what we was nota dhrop av music kin Ol git from this wan.”* . _,__ Stateroom, a-showin’ of her jew- discussin’ wasn't wearin’ ‘em to yaq MMR, 0-Pick =" Dhrop thet yer losnytlel_ Thots no accordyin= tls etry to another woman. bathe in, but wearin’ ‘em to goto ivery shtep. Nixt tolme yez goes out wid me yer shiays at home” ROWARD' MARSHALL) meetin’ in, “Tsh'ld think you'd find life at sea awful hard,” a man said to ‘THE BUSINESS INSTINCT. me. I looked at him, an’ he seemed kind of wore out like. What Ted—" What became of his summer hotel that failed because the you been doin’?" I asked of him, “Oh, nothin’ much,” says he; "jest place was so unhealthy 2” potterin’ around my place. I got up kind of early to mow th’ lawn, Ned—« Oh, he’s running it now as a sanitarium.” UP AGAINST A COMBINATION. Dr. Koons (diagnosing)—"* Nervous prosperation, brought about by a combination ob causes."" Patient—" Yo" am suttinly right, doctah. Chicken, dawg, gun, barb-wire fence, an’ a man behin’ de gun—a combination hahd ter beat.”" comicbooks.com