Judge — May 28, 1904 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Lady of the house—* Why don't you, work, you great, lazy fellow 2" Weary Willy—* Well, mum, all the gents inv my business are out of work just now. ady of the house— What is your usiness 7" Weary Willy— Gathering the fruits of Russian victories, mum." — Boston Transcript. Exceptional durab . combined with per- ouch, make the Sohmer 1 teachers in g is taught. Counsel— Do you understand the na- ture of an oat! Witness—" § Counsel— Do you understand the na- ture of an oath, I Say 2" Witness (impressively)—* Sir, I have driven a keb in this city for nigh’ on forty year."—Pick-Me-Up. ir 2" A health-giver and a health-preserver—Ab- ‘Angostura Bitters. At druggists’. The lawyer—"1 be understand that the wife ?" ¢ pardon, but do I lady is still your client—" She is my wife, but not still."— Cleveland Plain Dealer, Ripe Knowledge— experience—best materials fal go in the brewing and bottling of That it is cheaper than foreign brews is only one point periority. Proof of quality isin ‘Any dealer of restaur 1 | | Mrs, Madison—" Your new maid ap- pears to be rather refined ? Mrs, Parkweste—« Yes ; she's a little out of the common. She never breaks anything but the costliest cut-glass and the choicest Dresden."—Chicago Fournal. Sulphur Baths The only fine toilet soap that con- tains enough pure sulphur to pro- duce an effective sulphur bath is Glenn's Sulphur Soap. With warm water it makes a copious lather. The decorator had just made his es- timate. “Til tell you what I'll do,” said the householder. “You go ahead and deco- rate the house, and then I'll give it to you in payment of your bill.” 0,” replied the decorator ; ** I could- | n't afford to take the house for more than half-payment."— Chicago Post. “ Don't worry, dear,” said the magazine editor's wife ; “it's too bad that you were burned out just a week before the time for going to press, but perhaps you can get other stories and poems to take the place of the ones that were lo: “It isn't that,” he groaned ; 1 can get plenty of stories and poems, but the copy for our soap ads. has all gone up in smoke."—Chicago Record-Herald. “ My wife is trying to get into societ “Ah! [suppose it keeps her bus: ; but not as busy as it keeps me trying not to get into debt."—Philadel- phia Press. lesman—" You wish to buy a fur overcoat? Looking ahead to next winter, I suppose.” Customer— Next winter nothi am looking ahead to this summer."—De- troit Free Press. WHAT THE KING EATS. WHAT'S FIT FOR HIM, A Massachusetts lady who has been through the mill with the trials of the usual housekeeper and mother relates an interesting incident that occurred not long ago. She says : “T can, with all truthfulness, that Grape-Nuts is the most beneficial of all cereal foods in my family, young as well as old. It is food and medicine both to us. A few mornings ago at breakfast my little boy said : «Mamma, does the king eat Grape- Nuts every morning ?° «I smiled and told him I did not know, but that I thought Grape-Nuts certainly made a delicious dish, fit for a king.” (It’s a fact that the king of England and the German emperor both eat Grape- Nuts.) “TL find that by the constant use of Grape-Nuts not only as a morning cereal, but also in puddings, salads, etc., made after the delicious recipes found in the little book in each package, it is proving to be a great nerve food for me besides having completely cured a long-standing case of indigestion.” ne given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. There is no doubt Grape-Nuts is the most scientific food in the world. Ten days’ trial of this proper food in place of improper food will show in steady, stronger nerves, sharper brain and the power to “go” longer and further and accomplish more. ‘There's a reason. Look in each package for the famous Be sure and get the genuine lenn’s Sulphur Soa THE “SOHMER’? HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS SOHMER little book, * The Road to Wellville.” Teacher—" Who was the best friend Ireland ever had ? Irish scholar—*Oi don’t just now re- member, but he discovered Ameriky. Town Topics. Settin’ on a log An’ fishin’, An’ watchin’ the cork An’ wishin’, Jus’ ‘ound home An’ sighin’, Jus’ settin® ‘round home-— I —New Orleans Times-Democrat. eX URBANA WINE CO) URBANA.N.Y. “ That's my best work after reading his verses. “I'm thinking of having it copyrighted. Would you “Copyrighted 2” answered the critic. Noj if | were you I'd have it patented,” —Philadelphia Press. aid the poet, Jean Valjean was living in the sewer. “They advertised it as a cool summer residence close to the city,” he explained. —wNew York Sun, “Up they go.” MILLER’S MARK. HANGS HIGH MILLER BREWING GO, MILWAUKEE.U.S.A. PIANOS Sohmer Building, Sth Ave., cor 22d St. Only aaleeroom in Creater New York. “The New York Central Leads the World.”—Lesue's WEEKLY. comicbooks.com