Judge, 1904-05-28 · page 10 of 16
Judge — May 28, 1904 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical humor pieces typical of early 20th-century American satire: **"A Philosopher"** mocks a goat-herder's indifference to worldly affairs, playing on classical references (Pan, Plato, Stagyrite) to satirize rural ignorance. **"A Military Necessity in This War"** jokes about Russian military incompetence during what appears to be WWI—a colonel cannot deliver casualty reports because his horse is too weak, so the general suggests shipping bodies "by freight" via the Trans-Siberian Railroad. The satire ridicules both military disorganization and the absurdity of wartime logistics. **Minor pieces** include "To the Head of the Class" (hair restoration advertiser whose baldness returns), "In Jersey" (crude oil and fashion), "Increasing Circulation" (pun on printing/romance), and "New Fields" (college athletes in baseball). **"He Was Sure of It"** darkly jokes that a patient survives because his premonition of death proved wrong—ironic gallows humor about medical uncertainty. The overall tone reflects Judge's satirical approach to contemporary war, technology, social pretension, and human folly.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A PHILOSOPHER. LONG the railroad calmly doth he stray— jescendant of the line of Pan; seme billeleserdd an he spring portal cannot The Stagyrite’s or Plato's Indifference to t erved of n Makes life to him ar jeredd way. What's Hecuba to him or he to Hee Uba? He wags his beard and does not dwell On battles, spoils, intrigues and things remote. s great heights and never risks his neck, wanced know well, r—the goat, A MILITARY NECESSITY IN THIS WAR. ee HY,” demanded the Russian neral of an orderly who had brought news of an engagement in which e TO THE HEAD OF THE CLASS. many were killed and wounded, “did not your colonel send dl * What was ‘ the restoration,’ Bobby?" to me the names of the poor fellows who suffered in this dis- Bovey—"'A fake. Pop ‘s just as bald as before he used it."" aster 2” ‘The orderly saluted. “Sir,” said he, he wished to; but my horse “ Ah!" said the general, «It is well that we have the Trans- was weak from over-riding and not strong enough to carry them.” Siberian railroad, Have them shipped to me by freight.” IN JERSEY. Mrs. N ‘ome—* | see that mous- quetaire gloves are not going to be worn this summer.” Mrs, Subbubs—« Is that so? Well, that certainly shows that sprinkling crude oil did some good, after all.” INCREASING CIRCULATION. 46] ET us,” said the ardent youth To the journalistic miss ; + Let us," shyly, go to press, So that we may print a kiss.” One edition soon was done— He knew what he was about. * Our success is "he said. + We must get some extras out!" NEW FIELDS. Jaggles— Do you think the college graduate has a better chance than he used to have 2” Waggt “s ing. Nea a suspicious, aggles— Sure thing. Nearly all Mepium—" Madam, I can't seem to get your husband— he won't come at my bidding. * the league nines have some of them on Wivow—"The wretch! He's probably off flirting with some hussy of a lady-ghost. the team, HE WAS SURE OF IT. Nurse, has the medicine come that the doctor was going to send me?” Nurse—" No, sir: it hasn't come. Looks as if he had forgotten to send it."” Parient—" Then that presentiment | had was true. I had a strong feeling that | was going to live through the night.” comicbooks.com