Judge, 1904-04-30 · page 7 of 16
Judge — April 30, 1904 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page combines several brief satirical pieces mocking everyday irritations and social pretensions of the era. **"The Junkman"** opens with a poem criticizing the junk collector's loud street cries and their disruptive effect on city life—presented as worse than other urban nuisances like organ grinders or scissors-grinders. **"Reserve"** and **"A Theory"** mock newspaper editorial practices and women's vanity respectively, using brief dialogue jokes. **"Three Balls"** jokes about pawnbrokers (traditionally marked by three balls). **"Don't Rush the Season"** satirizes those who prematurely adopt spring activities—wearing light coats during unseasonal snow, leading to illness—cautioning against premature seasonal optimism. **"Too Much Tonnage"** and **"Golf"** are visual gags about servants being excluded from grandstands for weight reasons, and a wife's frustration with her husband's poor golf skills. The humor relies on recognizable urban types and domestic situations rather than specific political references.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE JUNKMAN. PARLOUS occupation his, meseems. As thro’ the quiet streets where echo dwells, With rusty, tintinnabulating. bells, He cries out + extremes, He spiflicates the poet's morni That glow and bourgeon in ci i And smiling cooks from out their cubicles, In hopes of tempting largesse Not e’en the tattered * Fra Dit Whose hurdy-gur pour it streams. |y wails to beat the band, Or scissors-grinder’s piercing trumpet. uch blank. unutterable woe As this dread fiend of the inferno brand With his unearthly ery of # Rer-ags and Uones !" PUGRNE GHARY. RESERVE. Assistant—«'They say the report is to he accepted with reserve.” THREE BALLS. Editor—» Certainly, We'll just issue three extras. one giving the report, one confirming it, and one staung that there's no truth whatever in it.” A GIVE-AWAY. : SeTRY a radium cocktail,” suggests the bar-tender, giving the mirror an upper- A THEORY. cut with the towel. = is extremely careful about her appearance.” Oh, yes. I suppose s Ixey—"" Loogk, papa, loogk! Sook bubbles!” “Ss I guess not,” says the man who is eating cloves. “If I drank one of those nd then went home and put up the usual excuses to my wife for being out as she makes up.” late she would see through me in a minute.” ne thinks a woman is as old things DON'T RUSH THE SEASON. Kemember “Panch's™ EARD a robin on the limb Took my fh Saw a blue nels off to him, 1 the win, Pitched goloshes with a fing. Sawa worm on the Luw Winter coat went into pawn, On the f Out of si yce an old tomeat ight my old cloth hat, Saw the merry kids at play- Bought a light topcoat th: Hurdy.gurdy struck my ¢ Then T sai +L know it's here. at night came a snow and sleet cold and clammy feet, lackache, 3 + Mose aewhiz— Laid up now with rheumatiz. JuE to show for it, s co: TOO MUCH TONNAGE. 1 em for Hts some peo. First everwant—" What a shame they wouldn't allow us to sit in the grand-stand!"" ple’s time must be counterfei \G from what they have Seconp evervant—'' Well, they had weighty reasons for it.” money. AND HE FOUND THE BALL EVERY TIME. Mrs. Sopywaten—‘* There yous. stupid!—driving the ball over into those Mr. Soprwater—"' Stupid, ch? Well, there are a few things about golf bushes again. That's the sixt! that you're not wise to, Amelia.” time this afternoon. Will you never learn anything about the game?” comicbooks.com