Judge, 1904-04-30 · page 4 of 16
Judge — April 30, 1904 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical sketches and text pieces typical of early 20th-century humor magazine content. **"One Happy Hour"** depicts a domestic scene where a wife presents her husband with old hats and dresses to refurbish for summer wear, claiming she'll save money by remodeling rather than buying new. The satire targets both wasteful consumerism and the tedious domestic economy women were expected to manage. **"Husbands Compared"** mocks different marital types through brief character sketches, using contrasting personalities for comedic effect. The remaining sections—"Everything in Its Place," "Misnomers," and "Uncle William of the Hot-Air Trust"—appear to be miscellaneous joke items and character sketches typical of Judge's format, without specific political references evident from the visible content.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ONE HAPPY HOUR. . ——— E CAME home, weary from the labors of the day, and flung himself into a morris-chair. After a time his wife came into the room. She was carrying a heaping armful of old hats and dresses. “Isn't it nice," she asked,“ that can make over all these things so that they will do perfectly well for me to wear this summer ?” “You don't mean to say,” he exclaimed, “that you are not going to buy a lot of new ones 2" “Why should 1? Here is that flower-hat I got last June and only wore two or three times, I can take off those roses and put them on this braided straw I got in August, and put the strand of poppies from the straw on the old flower-hat. That will make both of them seem like entirely new ones. Besides, they look as if they had just come from the milliner’s. And these dresses—why, they don't show a bit of wear, and it won't be any trouble at all to have the skirts made over and the waists changed to suit the present styles. Iam so glad, because it will save us so much money.” Then she showed him half a dozen shirt- waists that could be remodeled without much effort. “Splendid !” he cried. Then, with a long, shuddering sigh, he awoke, to see his wife at the telephone making an appointment with the modiste for the next day. wily YAY fy) LAL ates ATU acasaascesa ee fase ! Sul | ZZ i “ JUDGE'S FAVORITES. Whene’er upon the stage you shine, A star cf great sublimity, ‘We never ask who makes your togs Of satin, silk and dimity. We know you make those things yourself Of beauty architectural Because your beauty ‘tis that makes Their beauty so effectual. HE STOPPED. +4 OW, there was Jones, He was one of your method- ical men—always bragged that his business ran like clockwork. « What of it?” “Well, that was what there was of it. He thought he could lose all the time he wished and the business would run on just the same, The result was he had several strikes when he wasn’t looking for them, and finally his creditors wound him up.” “ What became of him “ Saw him yesterday. He's as set in his ways as ever.” PAYNE had just written “ Home, sweet home.” “Yes,” he admitted proudly; “1 don’t think it is HUSBANDS COMPARED. bad. I got my inspiration while | was watching Kelly Mrs. Nomperume (poetess)—'' Oh, Mrs. Callahan! it’s a terrible thing to be married slide for it.” to a man who isn’t in sympathy with your work.”” . . eet Mrs. CaLLAMAN (iasherwoman)—' Ah, roight ye are, mum! Shure, they’s sich a dif- Eagerly he scanned the score to see if the home team frince in men. Now, Pat's got so much sympathy fer me wurk he don’t do anny himsilf."" had won. EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE. sOWHE E shall we put all that waste material ?” asks the track super- intendent of the yard- master. * Along the belt- line, of course,” an- swers the yard-master without looking up from his order-sheet. MISNOMERS. H°’ often do we wit. ness Quite a run on walk. ing-canes! And who finds accommo- dation In accommodation- trains? SAME THING—GOLD-BRICK. Unce Wittast (of the Hot-air trust)—" Well, Hiram, don't buy any gold-bricks this trip.”” Hiram—" Nope: I'll buy a leetle er yer stock instid.”* comicbooks.com