Judge — April 30, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

<LY Ar Tux Pansat BUILDING, FourTit AVENUE AND NinetRENTH Sr, New Your. Wastes Apveeriine Orrice— 1313 Hartford Building, Chicago, Ul TERMS TO SURSCRIBERS UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. 1e year. oF $2 numbers se ee montivs, oF 26 numbers One thirteen weeks 2 Includ FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To al Evaorean saurs-acexts—/aternational News Company, Breane's buildin, Ch ane, F.C, London ‘Open The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright wil CONTRIBUTORS must inctose a stamsed and self-absressed ertoetove ‘with all manuscriots, othertvise return of the Lat DRAWINGS and all contributions sent fo the Art Devartment should have the sender's descrintive letter-press should in very instance be weilten uzon tts Indrvidual picture, and NOT ut ‘One copy, Ove copy isratas Juoce. n the postal unton, $6.00 a year. fetes Foxe prompily and vigorously prosecuted. urvailatle cannot be guaranteed. name and address Written plainly on each and every separate skeich. The accompanying fore or wt a separate slip of parer. Inclosure of Stamps to the full amount of postage ts also required, (0 mere Mainz, Germany. insure safe and prompt return of material not accerte ANY of our leading Egyptologists now speak with reverence and awe of the Gormanelike sphinx. ROM ONE END of the land to the other that imperial and peerless hot-air soloist, William Jennings Bryan, is now making himself heard but not felt. T THE NT WRITING there is not a vice-presidential boom that can be said to be making. sufficient noise to shake the kalsomine from the ceiling of the cave of echo. 'HE presidential bee must laugh Until it splits and breaks in half, When circling full of melo-dee, Within the bonnet of David B. F THE PARK THIS and the Parker that which now agitates the troubled shirt-front of Democracy continues at its present rate much longer the rustic jurist’s name will not be without a certain pecuniary value at the end of a testimonial for anything, from a cyclopadia to a boneless fish-ball. tae 'HE YELLOW PERIL is being s» freely discussed throughout the length and breadth of the land that it is impossible to consider it as anything other than a menace to all that is clean and decent in the matter of good government. The election of a Democratic president is regarded by all thinking and reasoning people as the worst calamity that could befall the countr: upside down, and in so doing serve as a lasting interpretation of the phrase, “ the yellow peril.” The yellow peril ar or phantom that is unworthy of notice. It is nota VERusane | ty att RITE nightmare or a fantasy conjured up to frighten or to lure the unsuspecting into supporting the Republican candidate in the coming campaign. It is a solid fact that exists and will continue to exist until next November, when. it will be shattered and wiped out aad sent flying with the yellow leaves and the yellow votes cast in its honor as they go whirling wildly on to the inysterious realm of otherwhere. . INCLE SAM does not make it a common practice in these strenuous days to hand out his gilt-edged sympathy to any one that happens along, unless that one is in every way entitled to and worthy of it. His sympathy is always in great demand, and it is not going too far to say that it is in a certain sense a panacea that is worth its weight in diamonds. Russia is at present clamoring for Uncle Sam’s brotherly feeling and won- dering why it is withheld; and she is also wringing her knuckles and re- ferring tearfully to the dark days of 1863, when she was so friendly in her feelings toward Uncle Sam. Men who are not yet sixty will remember that some enthusiastic American paid the land of the bear what he evidently considered a well-merited compliment by putting upon the market a vitri- olic lozenge which he called a Russian cough-cure and named it“ eatahoss,’” a word supposed or intended to have an uneuphonious sound calculated to fill the Russian heart with joy. This man certainly had a queer idea of grateful appreciation, though a master of commercial form and method. If he is still capering in the quick he should invent something to commemo- rate the kind of love that Russia has for Uncle Sam according to the diplo- ic sentiment of St. Petersburg. It might be a tallow cocktail containing a barbed-wire cherry, or it might be anything else that could emanate and spring from so subtle a brain, Be that as it may, Russia’s chances of being comforted and soothed by the sympathy of Uncle Sam are pretty slim and uncertain, unless she shall prove that she has the quality of virtue that will make it impossible for U. S. to turn a deaf ear to her entreaties. A DARK SECRET. First soy- Seconp soy—"* Dat ain't a chunk uv dirt Wot yer doin’ wid dat chunk uy dirt?” dat's a cake uv soap. I've bin washin’ me hands an’ fac comicbooks.com