Judge, 1904-04-23 · page 6 of 16
Judge — April 23, 1904 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief humorous sketches typical of early 20th-century American satirical humor. Key items include: **"Appropriate"**: A joke about a minister delivering a baseball-themed sermon with baseball terminology ("grand-stand plays," "the plate"), mocking both religious services and sports enthusiasm. **"A Wonderful Deterrent"**: Characters note the Far East war receives little coverage because Americans cannot pronounce the place names—satirizing public ignorance about international affairs. **"Euphony"**: A pun about "borrowing" versus "stealing" a joke about an umbrella. **"Millions in It"**: A character promotes profiting from sign-board rights along the Panama Canal—referencing the newly-completed Canal (1914) as a contemporary business opportunity. **"A La Mode"**: Mocks fashionable women wearing vegetable-decorated hats—absurdist satire of haute couture trends. The remaining sketches are brief, wordplay-dependent jokes. The page exemplifies Judge's style: topical references, puns, and gentle mockery of social pretension and contemporary events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
APPROPRIATE. ND so the minister delivered a sermon especially for the baseball team this morning, did he?” ; and the services were arranged so as to appeal to the au- How's that? Did he make grand-stand plays ?” Something on that order. The choir had only a first, second and third bass, and the sermon came to a short stop when the players saw the plate.” A WONDERFUL DETERRENT. Crawford— There isn’t as much talk about the war in the far east as might be expected.” Crabshaw—" That must be because most of us don't know how to pronounce the names of the places.” EUPHONY. ‘4 PRINTIT says you stole his joke about the umbrella that was always lent,” says the sub-editor. “No such thing ; I merely borrowed it.” | A CASE OF JAM. “You say you are crying because you jammed your finger, little boy?" “'y-yeth, thir. | put my finger in the jam an’ m-mother caught me doing t."" GOSSIP, ++ MADE their money recently ?” “Yes, Her father was a promoter. It is rumored that they are going to adopt as a coat-of-arms a watering- pot rampant.” MILLIONS IN IT. Askew Offen— Hello, Mulb'ry! What scheme are you working on now ?” ACCOUNTING FOR IT. * ACCOUNTING FORT in the place: Young Mr. Mulberry Sellers—" K great one. I'm be nr ee eee ere oes arsued like a kittens’ ee mine Place: NO getting the sign-board rights along both sides of the “Why, haven't you heard? Scribble has a baby up at his house.” Panama canal.” A LA MODE. THE vegetable hat is here. Some lettuce-leaves twine in the crown ; Cucumbers nestle near the ear, With tender onions hanging down. My lady wears the thing with pride, And when I damned it with faint. praise— +t is the style,” she softly sighed ; “ Besides, these are my salad days.” HIS ABILITY EXPLAINED. SHES the greatest man for splitting hairs 1 have ever met.” “ Naturally. He sliced the meat for sandwiches in a quick- lunch place before he studied law.” VERY TRUE. ITTING the nail on the head is of no importance TO THE POINT. unless the nail is pointed in the Cotoner Perrer—** But is not the majah smart, sah?" bere ; Cotonen Biustuo—''Smart, sah? Why, if the concentrated essence of all th’ majah's smartness was dropped onto direction you want it to go. a raw oyster, sah, it would take a pint of tabasco sauce to remove th’ flat taste from th’ oyster, sah." comicbooks.com