Judge, 1904-03-19 · page 6 of 16
Judge — March 19, 1904 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical humor pieces typical of early-20th-century Judge magazine: **"Poor Judgment"** mocks a young woman who accepts a marriage proposal copied word-for-word from a romantic novel, unaware the literary character it's based on ends disastrously (the man elopes with the cook and steals the woman's jewels). **"Behind the Age"** jokes that modern women want automobile-driving statues in parks rather than traditional sculptures. **"An Inquiry"** presents a cynical exchange suggesting the man's claim to love only her contradicts other women believing the same lie. **"A Dangerous Mine"** uses "baby-mine" (a term of endearment) as dark wordplay—the woman will literally explode after the wedding ceremony. The remaining pieces ("Unparalleled," "A Sign of Spring," "Her System," "Drastic Measures," "A Toilet Tip") are quick gags about shoplifting, children's toys, wives breaking husbands' habits through expense, forcing daughters into marriage, and hobo hygiene. The humor relies on period stereotypes and cynical takes on courtship, marriage, and consumer culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
POOR JUDGMENT. UNPARALLELED. ssVOUR proposal,” “4SEE that woman sighed the young eae ert 1 going down the woman, gazing upon the a y* ara aisle 2” asks the salesman man who knelt before of the floor-superintend- her, “is very beautiful ; wet) ent, whom he has been but it sounds to me like ae, - frantically signaling. the one Hector de Bau- j “Yes, What about villeine made to Genevra her—shoplifter 2” Colincourt in «The Ro- i No; crazy.” mance of Old Chizzle- “Crazy 2" ; “Undoubtedly. She confessed f ¢ came here and bought the swain; ‘it is almost e, goods enough for three word for word the same , dresses without asking proposal. You see, it 4 \ Sel me to unroll more than seemed to me that it was y four bolts of material and the best form I ever had F without saying that she'd seen, so [ adopted it.” ‘ie f take samples of every- “ Well, did you read thing on the shelves and the rest of the story 2” ? come back later.” “No; only to see : q 5 that she accepted him, of " +A/SIGN OF SPRING. ‘That's as far as I read.” E ; 5 d Cobwigger—x What “You do not know, : : do you want with a set then, that Hector de Bau- : 5 ; of wheels?! villeine ran away with , ‘ j Freddie—s Want to the cook, after stealing } : de make an express-wagon all of Genevra’s jewels Bi , ; out of the bobsled.” and money? Please go a fy HER SYSTEM. away. I shudder when P i r SeYES, my wife broke I think of what I have me of smoking,” escaped. says the sad-eyed man. BEHIND THE AGE. “She did ?" asks the Giles—"So you do . 2 friend. “How did she not think the statues in S go about it?” our parks are up to e “She broke me," ex- date ?" y plains the first man, ex- Miss Gasolene— hibiting a receipted bill “Indeed I don't. Why, peuceeous ene. for two spring bonnets there isn’t one of the tig- “He calls her his baby-mine.”* and four creations from ng an auto.” “Well, she'll blow him up all right after the ceremony.” Paris, AN INQUIRY. DRASTIC MEASURES. He—«\ don't see why you shouldn't believe that you're the only Mrs. Jones—“ That young man monopolizes too much of our girl I ever loved.” daughter's tim She—" Why ; did all the other girls believe it?” Jones—« That's easily remedied, I'll consent to their marriage.” A TOILET TIP. Warerep McFee (novice hobo)—‘* Excuse me fer pryin’ inter professional secrets, but how often should a hobo change his socks ?"’ Stavina Futter—" Dere’s no speshul rule. Some change ‘em, some don’t never change ‘em, some don't wear none, an’ so on. Ter be conservative wid yer. friend, I'd advise yer ter change socks every time yer find socks workin’ overtime at night on aclothes-line, Dat's my rule.” comicbooks.com