Judge, 1904-01-23 · page 3 of 18
Judge — January 23, 1904 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains humor columns and a central cartoon titled "NOT TO BLAME," depicting a portly gentleman in formal dress (top hat and coat) with various objects and creatures emerging from his body—suggesting internal chaos or moral corruption. The caption reads: "Hah! I just gave you fifty dollars for a hat!" / "Well, am I to blame for my old cloak and gown looking ridiculous with a fifty-dollar hat?" The joke satirizes wealthy vanity and conspicuous consumption—a man purchases an expensive hat but wears worn clothing, then shifts blame externally rather than acknowledging his own foolish priorities. This reflects Gilded Age anxieties about nouveau-riche pretension and misplaced values among the aspiring wealthy class. The surrounding text consists of unrelated humorous sketches and comic dialogues typical of Judge's satirical format.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TOO ENTHUSI- ASTIC. es6\MARRY me!” pleads the en- amored youth. «I will make your life one long day of sun- shine and song. Roses shall reach their ruby hands across your path and bend to kiss you with their trem- bling lips. The radi- ance of rare jewels shall gladden your eyes, and the won- drous lustre of rare fabrics shall ever lend their charm to you. We shall feed upon the honey of Hymet- tus and quaff the nec- tar of the gods from achalice of gold. You shall” « Harold,” she in- terrupted, “have you contracted the Nikola Tesla germ?" THE SIZE OF IT. Her husband— "So you've joined one of those French con- versation classes, eh ? What do you ta about, anywa She (absent-mind- edly) —"Oh, about every one who hap- pens to be absent.” JUST so. seDA! Pp “Uh?” ‘ “Pa, what is mince-meat ?” « A sort of gastro- nomical merger, my son. ‘THE IDEA! Bachelor (crusti- ly) —"The worst about marriage is that when a fellow. pro- poses it is generally a plunge in the dark.” Justwed —* Great heavens! you would- n't have a fellow pro- pose when the gas is going full tilt, would you?” AN ELUSIVE TOWN. Pedestrian (just landed from a train at an Irish station)— “Pat, is it far to Bal- lyhooligan 2" Porter (contiden- tially)—* ‘Tis not far it is if ye roide in a cyar; but if ye walk, shure, th’ nearer ye get to it th’ furder away ye'll foind it, sor.” NOT TO BLAME. Huh! I ust gave you fifty dollars for a hat."* “Well, am I to blame for my old cloak and gown looking ridiculous with a fifty-dollar hat?" MUSICAL, 66] AM the janitor of five flats,” stated the sad-faced man, removing his countenance from the mug of beer. The others waited for him to continue. “Of course,” he resumes, “with five flats to watch, I have to be careful about my staff; but even then I have my troubles.” Here we ask the inevitable question. “The chief troub- le," he said, “is that a conductor who lives in the place never can find the key.” Bass, bass! Who would have thought it of a sad-faced man? Tucker moved to Jer- sey he has become a confirmed suburban- ite.” Madison —" Yes; he has all the ear- muffs of one.” OF COURSE. 6sVES,” said starfish, “Lam going on the road again this winter with my tank drama.” “That's good,” re- plied the bass, who was booked for forty weeks in grand opera. « Who's the angel for the show ?” “Oh, the manager found an old lobster to stand for the bills.” AN OLD STORY. The clergyman— “Yo! mus’ be nigh ninety-six, auntie, an’ yo’ prob'ly ain't got long ter lib Auntie Black — “Good Lawd! Yo" done tol’ me dat when I was only eighty.” MUTUALLY STRUCK. Sinker— Did you make a hit with the girl’s father 2” Drawun —" Did 1? Well, [should say Idid! He struck me for a loan the first thing.” . THE only office that seeks the man is that of the tax-col- lector. comicbooks.com