Judge — January 23, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY At The Parken BUILDING, FOURTH-AVENUX AND NINETRENTH STRKET, NEw Yous. Wasterx Aovernisixe C One copy, one year, oF $2 ni : One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - One copy, for thirteen weeks 29 Marquette Building, Chicago, Ui. 00 330 Including the Cunistmas Juoce. 2 FOREIGN SUPSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 a year. Eu nurnan satis-acentslntermationas News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, E.C, London: Brentane't, Avenue de !*Opera, Paris: Suarbach's News Exchange, Sainz, German). The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and Digorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS mast inclose a stamped and self-addressed erfocione with all manuscripts, otherwise return of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Department should harve the sender's full name and address “written plainly on cach and every separate sketch. The accompanying Joke or descriptroe lether-press should in dbery instance be wrttten upon its indévidual picture, and NOT upon a separate sip of paper. Inclosure of stamps to the full amount of postage is also required, 10 insure safe and prompt return of matertal not accented. ROUND the rose of fancy Of the candidate, While he’s fondly dreaming, Happy and elate, Dainty music trembles, Waking all his glee, For he hears the bonnet Presidential bee. eee HE WALL STREET stock tout, or operator, as he prefers to call him- self, folds his hands in righteous indignation and, with the unique impudence which is his, declares that President Roosevelt's administra: tion is responsible for the general business depression that at present over- hangs the country. Wall street cannot stagger under the load of securiti so called, which it has taken upon its shoulders. It is an Atlas only in its mind, and at present it is doing a floundering act that is one of the finest ever seen In that slippery circle, the circus-ring of finance. It has handled many securities—digested, undigested, predigested and cooked, It is a preferred fakir, and one of the first water, What it does not know anent the sleight-of-hand and the fire-eating and the sword-swallowing of stock magic and manipulation is not worth knowing. But at last it knows with whom it has to reckon; and It is also aware of the melancholy fact that its nasal appendage is completely out of joint. It would be better, therefore, for it to keep quiet on the subject of President Roosevelt and his adminis- tration. President Roosevelt and his administration constitute a combina: tion with which the country is very well satisfied. And furthermore, it can smile at all the vitriolic utterances and attacks cf Wall street, which, in point of principle, is, so to speak, a horseless race-track. It would bet- ATT RET ter close down its foul mouth, wrap the drapery of its methods about it, and lie down to pleasant dreams of schemes to do the ever gullible public. IF THE JUNGLES of the wildest countries were searched and scoured for the purpose of lassoing a prize barbarian, beside whom all other barbarians would be mere supercilious pink-tea tanks, it is not likely that the catch would equal the czar of all the Russias in point of despotism and general all-round barbarity. This self-sufficient candle-eater, from a moral point of view, is a monstrosity pure and simple, and it looks as if he is ripe for a long-overdue thrashing which he may yet receive at the hands of the mikado, The jingle of his accoutrements, which would have made a fine sensation in media-val times, does not impress the powers of to-day’ as being anything more serious than the staccato of the trolley as it goes: banging merrily along. In fact, all his bluster and noise, whether made by his niouth or by the jingling of the steel armor of which his civilian andi golf clothing is composed, are not calculated to cause any one much uneasi~ ness or loss of sleep, even when his fierce gesticulations cause his sartorial nuts and rivets to creak for vaseline or to snap and fly asunder, and in so doing give a sort of feeble imitation of the manner in which the present autocrat’s relative scattered at the moment that he entered into business relations with a dynamite projectile a little more than a score of years ago. The czar’s angel of peace is about as substantial as the siren forged of meringue, whose evanescent witcheries exert so subtle an influence on the poetic soul that sees her reclining on the bosom of a cart-wheel cake. He cannot deceive any thinking or reasoning head, crowned or uncrowned, with this specimen of his artistic skill. While he talks peace, he continues. to grind his sword. He is a two-faced jumping-jack at best, and it is to be trusted that the mikado will light on him like a cyclone and give him the drubbing of his life in the name of everything that is good and decent. BLIND HOPE. Mr. Hawaack—"' Our son at town sez In his letter fer me ter send five dollars ter him fer a manicure set. Sez he must look after his nails.” Mars. Hawaack: * Better send it to him, pa. Perhaps he's l'arnin’ the carpenter trade."" comicbooks.com