Judge, 1903-12-19 · page 26 of 52
Judge — December 19, 1903 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains Christmas-themed humor satirizing turn-of-the-century American life. **"Tried to Be Good"** mocks a bachelor's failed attempts at peaceful contemplation on Christmas Eve—repeatedly interrupted by noisy neighbors, a janitor, a cat, and his own health anxieties. The satire targets urban apartment living and hypochondria. **"It Ought to Be Done"** jokes about a persistent writer submitting the same rejected Christmas poem annually for six years to a magazine editor, satirizing both struggling writers' persistence and editorial frustration. **"A Song of Christmas"** is social commentary on Christmas spending and financial anxiety—celebrating "pockets full of cash/bills/gold" while noting the money quickly vanishes on gifts, food, and expenses. It mocks fathers counting money and the pressure to spend. **"Too Many Feet"** is a light children's joke: a centipede family has no Christmas because by the time the mother hangs stockings for all the children's feet, it's nearly New Year's. **"A Serious Oversight"** caption suggests something's missing from a Christmas party scene, though context is unclear.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘TRIED TO BE GOOD. Am old bachelor’s night Mefore Christmas.) PEACE. on earth; to men good will— (Wonder why the folks next door Cannot keep that baby still.) Peace on earth ; to men good will_— (anitor, I say, more steam, House is like a Greenland hill.) Peace on earth ; to men good will— (Great Scott! There’s that old tom cat Meowing on my window sill.) Peace on earth ; to men good will—— (Holy smoke! it's time again That I took another pill.) Peace on earth ; to men geod will— (Wonder if that doctor thinks I will pay him such a bill.) Peace on earth ; to men good will (Darn that man of mine, he’s gone And forgot my jug to fill! ) IT OUGHT TO BE DONE. THE editor of the magazine looks up from the pile of submitted manuscripts. “That man Scribblesum surely is a persistent chap,” he remarks to his assistant. "Yes ?” interrogatively com- ments the assistant. “Yes, Here's that Christ- mas poem of his that has been sent in and rejected regularly for the past six years.” “ Which one 2?” “It’s entitled “The Hole in WHERE HE'D LEAVE IT. First woopeN sotpier—" Hurry up, Jimmie, rap it fast; I Just heard ce old man say he guessed he'd leave de drum at de next house.” A SERIOUS OVERSIGHT. Something missing at the Christmas party. \ A SONG OF CHRISTMAS. GING 2 song of Christmas, A pocket full of cash ! ‘To-day we're eating turkey, ‘To-morrow — maybe—hash ! Cook prepares a pudding Whose praises all will sing ; ‘Twill be a dish quite nice enough To set before a king. Sing a song of Christmas, A pocket full of bills ! Be careful how you spend them For kindness sometimes kills! Father's in his office Counting out his money. That he has any left to count Is very, very funny! Sing a song of Christmas, A pocket full of gold ! One wishes he were Midas When Christmas wants unfold. Auntie has a baby With neither teeth nor clothes And Freddy’s at the mirror A-studying his nose. Sing a song of Christmas, A pile of dollars bright! ‘And if you haven't any, Be merry iust for spite! DWARD W, BARNARD. TOO MANY FEET. 64 NOo" said the lite centipede to the ladybug, “we never have any Christmas at our house.” “You don't?" sympathetic- ally asked the ladybug. “No. By the time mamma gets all our stockings hung up it's almost New-year's day.” comicbooks.com