Judge, 1903-12-12 · page 13 of 16
Judge — December 12, 1903 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements and light humor**, not political satire. The content includes: **Advertisements:** - Old Crow Rye whiskey and White Rock beverages - Cortes cigars - Christmas diamonds on credit (central ornate display) - French Court Memoirs book offer - "Where to Dine in New York" restaurant listings - Bunker Hill Suspensory (medical device) **Humor Content:** Short comedic exchanges and verses without clear political messaging: - A cynical joke about billionaires establishing learning institutions - A sentimental poem comparing a confined calf to human constraint - Light romantic/social humor about courtship etiquette and class expectations **No identifiable political cartoons or caricatures appear.** The page represents typical early-20th-century Judge content—mixing advertisements with genteel humor aimed at middle/upper-class readers. The jokes reflect period attitudes about wealth, romance, and social propriety but lack direct political commentary or satirical targets.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DELICIOUS flavor, smooth- ness and purity characterize. Sold only in our registered bot- tles everywhere. H.B. KIRK & CO., Sole Bottlers,N. Y. The WHITE ROCK high ball has a smack of its own OF BRAINS 53 (GARE “MADE *MADE AT KEY WweEsT— “It you were a billionaire would you try to be a philanthropist 2” “Tthink so,” answered the cynical per- son. “I'd be very much tempted to es- tablish an institution of learning whose purpose should be the investigation of ra- tional and practical methods of making endowments."— Washington Star. SONNET ON A SPOTTED CALF. ‘As yon slim, spotted calf, tied with its rope And yearning through the long days | to be free, Held fast while other calves sport on the lea, | Confined within a little beaten scope, Left by the busy multitudes to grope Along the same paths day by day, to see The same familiar things each day and be Denied all but the solace of sweet hope ; So I must tread in beaten paths, must yearn | In Vain to roam at will, to wander where The cities of the past once stood and learn The joys they have who gambol here and there, like the calf, return, Butt in and for the moment cease to care. —Chie And, at each meal-time’s ago Record-Herald, He—1 can't understand how you should be so taken with Mr, Blakley. There is nothing striking about the man ; but he is ordinary in such an extraordinary degree !"—Bos‘on Transcript. “But how can I be sure,” said the beautiful heiress, «that you do not want me merely for m " “ Darling,” replied the duke, * iff can have you I shall never worry about money any more."— Chicago Record-Herald. She— Papa says that when coming to see me you must not come in a street-car any more.” He— Really! Does he expect me to walk all this distance ?” She—* Of course not. He says all he asks is that you will come in a carriage hired by the hour."—New York Weekly. SPECIAL OFFER! French Court Memoirs‘ FROM Henry of Navarre to and through the reign of Du Barry (whose personal memoirs occupy four of the volumes), this set of books covers the back-stairs-and-kitchen-gossip side of French Court History, much manifestations. as Guizot And covers its outward where so much was set afoot with secret and obscure design, where so MARIE JEANNE DU BARRY. little was open and above-board, where boudoir councils dictated treaties and the wounded vanity of favorites instigated campaigns, where a low-born woman's caprice could send forth the torch to lay waste the half of Europe, it is impossible to comprehend the curious events of history without knowing the intimate details of those underlying causes. It is characteristic of these Memoirs that, in deal- ing with the peculiar affairs which are associated in every one’s mind with French Court History of the period, their very simplicity and frankness purges them of all offense. The undersigned controls a few sets of these personal French Court Memoirs (translated with fidelity into English), which can be secured in complete sets only, and on small monthly payments, provided application be made at once. These few copies are from a limited numbered and registered de luxe edition, a $10 a volume edition. Through a binder’s error the leather of the volumes is imperfectly matched; consequently it is advisable to dispose of them outside of regular subscrip- tion channels, and at a price about equal to the value of the unbound sheets. A booklet describing the edition will be sent, together with price partic- ulars, if you sign and send the inquiry slip af once. ADDRESS J. B. CHADBOURNE, 1 E, 16th Street, New York. Please srad me particular—advertisement in Juvce, December rath, 1903. a“ De Ws CH ON CR bea cr ace of Vaasa RISTMAS DIAMo EDIT 1 poll gold. renane amend pi on preter. ip ie sear ‘ofa itd vrs ofthe oldest Bat ak. Reteren raring ‘omtnercial Christmas. Everything guaranteed to be mUlatactory, LOFTIs Mr. Newcombe—“That little Mrs. umpling next door seems to be a busy little body.” Mrs. Newcombe—« Huh! Put the * lit- tle’ before the * busy,’ and you'll be nearer | the truth."— Philadelphia Public Ledger and Liquor Hfabit curedia 10 ‘Gifeured. | OPIUM G “SEPHENE CO. Teacher—"Can any boy tell me what it was that induced Captain Kidd to turn pirate ?” Smart youth—" From what dad said tother day I guess it was because they didn't know anything about freeze-outs and blind pools in Kidd's time."—Soston 10( VISITING CARDSs rae lid da ected, Kd foe Es ae Oe ee C0., DEPT.49 ST. LOULB, ‘Miss Screecher—* So Mr. Critique said my singing was heavenly, did he ?" Mr, Howells—" Well, not in so many words, but he probably meant that.” Miss Screecher-— What did he say ?” Mr. Howells—“He said it was un- earthly:"— Chicago News. 100 “What did you buy with that money your uncle left you TL bought experience,” reply Spend it all for that ?" My dear sir, | never was much on bargain-day affairs, and the ordinary price of experience is all that you've got."— Chicago Post. Where to Dine IN NEW YORK. Places Commended by Jupc active Dinang Parlors in ay. i hours. Park Ave, Hotel Tn gato p mee alee Hotel Bartholdl teeleseta wrvice & good look, Best in Other Cities. Baltimore Cornice RT. Central location.” Fire Pr ‘Some.one approached the great painter. “ Atid how do you mix your paints?” | some one asked “With -brains, sir,” painter, shortly. “ Ah'l" some one remarked, “1 didn't know that you confined yourself to minia- tures,"—New York Sun. was the rueful replied the great ‘Write or FREE booklet | Bowttn ‘TTA Linen, ine Voy oie Pisin vee ot ites mane “ hp D'dt 8k Preh, $2. me Wrench BU: SP F'ch Ail, BL Avoid that Tired Feeling Weare Bunker Hill Suspensory WHY? pata came, WsAdpustable. Can be Kept Clean. ‘Siding Loop Adjusteest. ts Darable. Ne Backes to Irrttate, 7B Ail, te. ‘Seamiess Sack. Satisfaction guaranteed ch 7 FREE book et. oc Address THE OHIO TRUSS CO., 33 E. 9th St., Cincinnati, O. comicbooks.com