Judge, 1903-12-05 · page 4 of 16
Judge — December 5, 1903 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains humorous social commentary and satirical sketches typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine. **"Judge's Favorites"** mocks sentimentality in poetry, parodying flowery romantic verse with deliberately clumsy language. **"The Tendency"** satirizes society's theatrical nature—the idea that life itself becomes performative spectacle. **"His Report"** jokes about a reporter confusing "sleeping cars" with "smoking cars" on a train, playing on similar terminology. **"Precautionary Abstinence"** presents a humorous dialogue about whiskey and moving, using wordplay ("don't know 'ye yet"). **The illustrated sketches** (roosters, figures) appear to be generic comic vignettes rather than political cartoons, featuring everyday situations with exaggerated drawings for comedic effect. **"A Safe Bet"** presents a joke about a small animal's diet and health. Overall, the page emphasizes humor over political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
USEFUL PIECE OF FURNITURE. se THEY are going to have a bureau of in- formation at the corner drug-store dur- ing the convention,” said Mrs. Perkins. “Wonder if we couldn't get it after the convention is over,” mused her husband. “Get it? Get what?" “The bureau of information. We need one in the house. I could keep my handker- chiefs in it. Nobody ever knows where they are now.” ‘THE TENDENCY. At the world 's a stage, they say, And the women that we meet Make us think that soon we may See a ballet on the street. HIS REPORT. City editor (to reporter)—“ Did you see those sleeping-cars that were reported on fire 2” Reporter—* No, sir. When I got there they were all smoking-cars.” FINE feathers may make fine birds, but they She's such a winsome miss, you say, do not add to their beauty when they More modest than the rose; ¥6 But fi you'd watch "d ch day mingle in the fricassee of hashdom. Het colot comteacdipoes JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MYRTLE VINSON IN “WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH SUSAN.” As an airy snowflake, Drifting here and there, Round she goes a-whirling Like a thing of air. Yet no hint of winter Marks her tricky flight, For she seems the springtime’s Fairy acolyte. She the bald head's sorrow Tenderly unkinks, While he, fondly gazing. Thinks and thinks and thinks. PRECAUTIONARY ABSTINENCE. Host—" Have ‘nother drink ‘fore you go, ole ler.” Guest—" Like to, bu’ dashn't"— Host—* You' lasht man I'd ‘xpected to be ‘fraid 0’ goo’ whiskey.” Guest—"Tain't whiskey—'ts shtairs ‘my new boardin'-house. Moved in ‘is mornin’ an’ don't know ‘m yet.” ae ITS PECULIARITY. AXK 2 “My! what a peculiar style of riding!” AN AON REVERED. 3 “Yacas: I spose it does seem pecullah HIS life is full of odd deceit— Se ter people wot's neber rid enny ob dese razor- A coat of paint may hide the dirt, 8 back hosses. And many an honest heart may beat ECONOMICAL, Beneath jeweletodied shirt: +6MRS: STAGGERS is go- ing to have her hus- band cremated.” “Well, the chloride of gold in his system ought to yield enough. to defray the funeral expenses.” NO AMATEUR. Mrs. Crawford—« Is that an experienced girl you have ?” Mrs. Crabshaw—* Why, I should say she is! This is the ninth place she’s had this year.” NEITHER BEAST NOR HUMAN. » Waggles —“ There's one thing about art that has always : puzzled me.” Saat me kg ab eteanty e fae Jaggles—" What's that?” Waggles— Where those artists who draw the fashion- Tue ot srort— Why is that?” plate figures manage to get ‘Tue touch xm—‘Why? Hully gee! because de little feller 's bin eatin’ health-food fer a month.” their models.” A SAFE BET. ‘Tae toucn xip—"' Say, It's four ter one on de little feller. See?" comicbooks.com