Judge, 1903-12-05 · page 3 of 16
Judge — December 5, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **"The Heroine"** and **"A Décolleté Advance"** mock society women obsessed with fashion and theater, portraying them as vapid. **"Sweet Revenge"** presents a domestic quarrel joke about a husband's infidelity. **"One Way to Do It"** shows a teacher distributing apples to students—a commentary on classroom methods. **"All Is Vanity"** satirizes wealthy philanthropists who maintain social distance from poor relations. **"Domestic Tribulations at the Zoo"** and **"For Instance"** offer workplace/domestic humor. **"Absent Treatment"** depicts a boy seeking to skip Christian Science lessons to play hockey—satirizing both the religious practice and adolescent priorities. The cartoons reflect common Judge targets: pretentious society, weak pedagogy, hypocrisy, and class distinctions. The humor relies on observational satire of contemporary American middle-class life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘THE HEROINE. N THE drama of existence, Should you take a searching look, ‘You wili find the leading lady Very often is the cook. A DECOLLETE AD- VANCE. OES," asserted the ad- mirer, “she is an ad- vanced woman. She is a credit to the age. None of the fads and foibles of lat- ter-day females attract her. Why, she is head and shoul- ders above dresses and bon- nets and matinées, and all that sort of thing.” “1 don't know about the bonnets and matinées, but I saw her last night at the theatre, and she was head and shoulders above her dress, just as you claim.” SWEET REVENGE. The lady—" | gave you a piece of pie last week, and you've been sending your friends here ever since.” The tramp — You're mistaken, lady. ‘Them was my enemies.” ONE WAY TO DO IT. se THE problem is this,” said the teacher. “I have fifteen apples, which Iam to divide among twelve boys. Now, how shall I distribute the apples ?" After considerable chewing of pencils and scratching of paper, the little Wise boy raised his hand, |“ Well, Johnny ?" “You should give one apple to three-tifths of a boy.” Quimsose || Co THE EDITORIAL VALUATION. Erwe.—"* A penny for your thoughts.” Port—" Gad! you talk like an editor.” TO SAVE EXPENSE, Ce THEIR marriage was a hasty affair, I under- stand,” “Yes, indeed. They told the minister to hurry, as they had engaged a cab- man by the hour.” ALL IS VANITY, Crabshaw—" Miss Purseproud has taken up philanthropy.” Crawford— Does she really associate with the poor ?* Crabshaw—" Well, ot course she draws the line at her poor relations.” DOMESTIC TRIBULA- TIONS AT THE ZOO, Mrs. Monkey—" | wish you'd drop in and see our milkman, Charlie, and give him a good calling down.” Mr. Monkey —"W' what's the matter now Mrs. Monkey—" 1 told him to leave three cocoa- nuts this morning, and he only left two, and one of them was only half full.” FOR INSTANCE. SAVES, my boy,” said the aged adviser; «the thing for you to do is to get out and hustle. There is always plenty of room at the top, you know.” “Plenty of room at the top? 1 adopt 2" “ Well, for instance, go into the hair-tonic trade.” But where? What business shall ABSENT TREATMENT. Proressor—'' So you want to take a few lessons in Christian science ?"" Swati vor—"' Yes'r. I want ter convince meself dat dere’s no sech t'ing as pain. I've bin playin’ hookey fer de last two days.”* comicbooks.com