Judge, 1903-11-28 · page 9 of 21
Judge — November 28, 1903 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces typical of early Judge satire: 1. **"Lil' Rastus's Dream"**: A dialect poem using racist caricature conventions common to the era, depicting a Black character's nightmare about a turkey chasing him. The humor relies on minstrelsy-style dialect and the incongruity of a turkey as threat. 2. **"Had Had Experience"**: A brief joke about Mr. Wilkins, a boarding-house resident, sardonically suggesting a twenty-year-old turkey might resist being carved—mocking cheap boarding-house food quality. 3. **"A Severe Test"**: A longer narrative about an aged humorist editor who cannot stop writing frivolous bon mots despite promising reform. His compulsion is treated as pathological, culminating in dark comedy when he dies at his desk—unable to resist one more joke. The bottom illustration shows a domestic scene where a wife threatens to fire a new cook who admits she'll stay only six months, calling her a liar and thief—satirizing servant reliability concerns.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIL’ '"RASTUS'S DREAM. H DREAM dat Ah's ers sleepin’ En settin’ on er lim’, En all erbout de shadders Is creepy laik en dim, W'en, laws! er monst’ous tuk- key Cum grab me by de laig En des’ keep on er-chucklin’ To eb'ryt'ing Ah baig, “Gobble, gobble, gobble!” He tek me ter his kitchen En git er shit En shahpen hit wid raspin’ En tarryfyin’ whacks. man! mah neck des’ scringin’— axe slip throo, dat tukkey “Al's gwine gobble you— Gobble, gobble, gobble!” Oh, En den Ah gits ter floppin’ En roll erbout de baid, En, praise de Lawd! Ah wak- ens Wren Ab falls on mah haid. En dat why Ah jump sideways En shivah disaway ‘Wren Ah hyuhs some ole tukkey Lif’ up he voice en say, “Gobble, gobble, gobble!” HAD HAD EXPERIENCE. +4 MR- WILKINS,” said the landlady graciously, “ we are going to let you carve the turkey on Thanksgiving day.” “I shall be glad to do so,” responded Mr. Wilkins, who had been eating boarding-house turkeys for twenty years, “if the turkey will let me carve it.” *RASTUS'S INGENUITY. “Say, boss, | bet dis yere combinashun 's gwine ter ketch me sumthin’."” A SEVERE TEST. 'HE editor insisted. The aged humorist, who all his life had been penning gay and frivolous bon mots, shook his head and mur- mured, “I cannot.” “But you can, if you only have the will to say so,” declared the editor. “You forget,” urged the aged humorist; “you forget that the habits of a lifetime are hard to conquer.’ “I know; but there is never a better time to reform than right now.” “No; I'll do it the first of the year. Listen; on the first day of the next year I'll take a solemn oath never to do it again.” But the editor was obdurate. He argued, he threat Fz ened, he pleaded, he insisted, until finally the aged in 4) humorist tremblingly promised. But all that day and all that night the aged humorist sat at his desk, now writing a few words, and immediately crossing them out with feverish haste. At last he groaned in wild despair, “ It is too much to ask of me! I cannot help it—I must do one more!” Drawing his paper to him, he dashed off, 5 “The powers had best be careful in dismembering Turkey, lest they spatter Greece over the China.” Then, gibbering and grinning in insane glee, he dropped his head upon the desk. And thus they found him the next morning, cold and still, a victim to an insatiable habit. The gushing boarder — This turkey is delightfully tender.” Mrs. de Hasher— Yes; 1 knew it would be. It was killed by being run over by a trolley-car.” COOKED AGAIN. , Hussaxo—""' I've got a dandy cook coming to-morrow. She says she will stay with us for six months.” Wire—" John, I won't have her in the house a minute. A woman who will lie like that will certainly steal,’ comicbooks.com