Judge, 1903-11-28 · page 8 of 21
Judge — November 28, 1903 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical vignettes mocking American Thanksgiving customs and social hypocrisy: **"The Sage and the Turkey"** satirizes class-based church attendance. A minister preaches against materialism and fashionable dress, but is interrupted when ushers forcibly remove a shabby, elderly woman from the center aisle—exposing the congregation's actual values. The irony: those lectured about spiritual humility enforce social segregation. **"The Crafty Possum"** uses racial dialect humor (period-typical for Judge) where a Black worker tricks his employer by having a possum play dead, then speak—a folk-tale reference to deception. **"Why He Wept"** jokes about health-food faddism: a boy cries because his mother stuffs the Thanksgiving turkey with "health-food" instead of traditional ingredients. **"Their Flavor"** and **"He Had Advantages"** offer brief jokes about turkeys' gamey taste and social pretension. **"A Victim of Circumstances"** presents dark humor about a disgraced jockey who "committed race suicide." Overall, the page satirizes upper-class hypocrisy, faddish health trends, and American materialism disguised as piety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE SAGE AND THE ‘TURKEY. ( THE turkey ‘5 stuffed with UCM ni! \ THANKSGIVING DAY. Sua ay IVE. thanks to-day for blessings rich And for the harvest's yield ett The savant ’s blithe and perky. ight, we will engage, The sage is stuffed with nd seat caused the in- ON YY terruption in the services at the Uptosnuff church this morning ?" ask- ed the gentleman who had called on Sunday evening, after learning that the fam- ily had attended that church for the purpose of listening to the Thanksgiving sermon. “Why,” explained the young lady, “it was just awful, The dear minister was preaching about how we ought to let our hearts be calm and thankful and get our minds off of the things of this world, and not be all the time meditating on the fancies of fashion, as exemplified in the rich attire of those before him "— «But what interrupted him?" «Twas coming to that. He was just giving it to the congregation for over-dressing when a lit- tle shabby, old-fashioned woman came in and actually got almost all the way down the centre aisle before one of the ushers overtook her and made her take a seat in a less conspicuous part of the church.” wh “Oh, boo-hoo-hoo! SUSPICION, First tree—* What a lovely yellow Miss Maple is!" ale th ba i YY uc HU HUT a uuAdunnEtc dentate MM if wl ZL, BEY, yj Mle THT WHY HE WEPT. “Why are you crying, my little man?” ‘Ma's stuffing the Thanksgiving turkey with health-food.” And let the only kickers be Upon the football field. THO: ose! what you “eE H got in that sack ?” asked Mr. Meddergrass, stopping Mose Peters as he was leaving the turkey-yard “Noffin', suh; nuffin’ but er ole ‘possum I done cotch ovah beyon’ de ridge.” Mr. Meddergrass poked the sack with his fist, and from the inside there came a protesting “ Gooble-ooble- ooble !” “Possum? Talks mighty funny for a ‘possum.”” “Lawd, Mistah Med- dergrass ! didn’ yo all nev- ah heah ob er ‘possum playin’ ‘possum en tryin’ ter fool people inter b'lievin® hit’s sumfin’ else all de time ?” By a g ? THEIR FLAVOR. *6AAY PATRON: M the marketman to Mr. Meddergrass, “ com- plain that those last turkeys I sold them, and which I got from you, had a pronounced gamy flavor.” “It's them fool boys o' mine,” laughed Mr. Meddergrass, slapping his thigh, “Their maw told ‘em not to play seven-up any more, an’ it made ‘em so mad they chopped up their deck 0” cards an’ mixed it with the turkey-feed.” HE HAD ADVANTAGES. Cholly—" Has Algy weally been abwoad ?” said Second tree— Don't you believe it—peroxide !" Bertie— Oh, yes. | positively envy him his twunk-labels.” A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCES. Pravem—‘* Yes, he was ruled off the track for crooked riding. He has killed hirrself as a jockey.” Tne wao—* Huh! Committed race suicide, has he? comicbooks.com