Judge, 1903-11-21 · page 7 of 16
Judge — November 21, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"It Is So Stated"** and **"Still the Mode"** are brief romantic/social comedies playing on period courtship conventions and women's cattiness about fashion. **The hair-tonic advertisement satire** mocks fraudulent patent medicine claims—a common Judge target—showing an absent-minded agent who forgets to remove hat-pins before demonstrating a bogus product. **"The Man Who Would Be King"** references Rudyard Kipling, the famous poet and writer. The joke compares his dollar-per-word literary rate to Sam Parks (likely a labor organizer), suggesting the latter commanded higher fees for "calling off a strike"—contemporary satirical commentary on labor disputes versus artistic compensation. **"Why the Dog Howled"** is gentler humor about a Saint Bernard rescue dog whose excessive howling is explained as the traveler whistling "Hiawatha" to amplify the signal—absurdist humor common to the era. The page blends social satire with contemporary references accessible to Judge's educated, middle-class readership.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
o IT IS SO STATED. E SOUGHT to kiss A girl from Wis. ‘She murmured, **Oh, You must not—No! He sighed, “ Marie, Don't you love Me.” And then said, ‘ Pshaw! Don't call your Pa.” Coaxed thus, the Miss. Gave him the kiss, And yet again, Till he took Tenn STILL THE MODE. 46 RUT, my dear,” said the first woman in that affectionate tone which indicates that a perfect lady intends to say something to hurt the feelings, «isn’t your winter- cloak moth-eaten ?” “ Moth-eaten 2" answered the other with that inflection which a woman adopts when she inserts a subtle squelch into her remarks ; “moth-eaten? No, indeed! That is drop-stitch.” Acent—"*The finest hair-tonic in the world, my dear madam. Makes the hair grow instantly. Allow me— hair. But the absent-minded agent forgets to remove all the hat-pins, ana her exit is more hurried than graceful. THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING. -at—"* Shure, Roodyar-rd Kipling, th’ pote, gits a dollar a wurd."* Parks uster git more'n thot fer callin’ off a shtrike. 2 —to remove my hat and show you the marvelous effect it has had on my LITERARY INCLINATIONS. WHY do you think hel be a famous novelist 2” “He poses for photographs so well, with his arms folded and looking as if he was thinking.” WHY THE DOG HOWLED. THE brave Saint Bernard dog had found the traveler who was lost in the Alps. Lifting his head, the dog howled long and dismally. Nor did he stop with one howl, but continued to howl, each yelp being more agonizea than its predecessor. The monks came on a dead run through the snow. “ You seem to be all right,” they said to the traveler." We won- der why the dog howled in such a distressed tone.” “ Well,” explained the wanderer, “I didn't know whether or not he could make you hear his ordinary howls, so I just whistled ‘ Hia watha’ to keep him buckled down to business.” comicbooks.com