Judge — November 21, 1903 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PAPA THE TRUE ARTIST. H, THEY say, she is an artist with a genius very great. She can make a chubby Cupid on a heart ; And she pictures every chappie, vith his bobbing, empty pate, In a way the master says is truly art. She can draw a horse and wagon, or a monkey, or a man, And at etching she can put on all the frills. She can paint her cheeks—good yracious !—just as natural—yes, she can, But her papa draws the cheques to pay the bills. i FREDERICK BOYD STEVENSON. TO BE SURE. | 66\JJHAT is the difference,” asked the in- | * veterate maker of conundrums, * be- tween a woman and a phonograph factory ?” “Well,” hazarded the obliging listener, «the output of a phonograph factory is meant to be listened to, but the output of a woman has to be listened to.” “No,” was the gleeful reply of the conundrum fiend. “You can’t shut up the woman, but you can shut down the | factory.” THE BETTER SAM. “Sam Patch made a mile in one-fifty-nini “Dead slow. Sam Parks could make a thousand dollars in less time than that."* WHAT TROUBLED SUSY. Don't wait to be invited. Nobody 's waiting for the ship That has not yet been sighted. Batt in, no matter "bout the time, The place, or kind of weather ; And do not linger for the gang That waits to get together. Batt in, no matter who's around, Or who is doing the talking. Don’t wait for anybody's rig, Or you will do the walking. Batt in, get busy, keep it-up; Don’t wait, or you'll regret it. The man who lingers tor the plum You bet will never get it. Butt in, no matter what they say ; utd) DLE! wae Will butt you in the hurry. re EN who are born great are not always great at the You needn't stop to worry. ee If you don’t butt, the other man ( eau wang tL s4\VASSUM,” said Sistah Johnsing, straightening herself up from the wash-tub and allowing the suds to drip from her fingers while she talked ; “yassum, mah daughtah Susy suttinly has bin pow'ful sick dis las’ two yeahs.” “What seems to be the matter with her?” asked the white lady. “Well, ‘um, de doctah, he say hit’s er mil soht ob eucalyptus fits.” ‘THE ADVERTISER'S VERSION. ITS said that little drops of ink Do oft make countless thousands think 5 But what of more importance is, It makes them buy and leads to biz. A NATURAL ALTERNATIVE, RET HATS a stunning crest on that REVENGE IS SWEET. envelope. Whose is it?” | i x, F Funsr saree (in beckeround) “Why does our rand. worthy king torture his victim “fm not. certain—either an | ao so long before turning him Into a sixty-cent table d’hote dinner?” : : . AL } 7 Gh Seconp Nanve—"'Oh, that's a professional humorist who writes those jokes about English duke’s or a New York mil } his majesty’s religious taste for missionaries.” lionaire’s, I should say. BUTT IN. BUTT in, no matter where you are; “THE TIE THAT BINDS.” finish. Farmen—‘* Mother, | hain't got the heart ter do it. It 'd seem too much like killin’ one o° the family."" comicbooks.com