Judge, 1903-11-14 · page 10 of 16
Judge — November 14, 1903 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"His Problem"**: A rural father boasts his family solves puzzles (newspaper contests, mathematical puzzles, the "fifteen puzzle"). When asked his own intellectual pursuit, he reveals it's simply keeping the family together—a gentle joke about domestic management versus intellectual pretension. **"A Great Sufficiency"**: A woman argues against the biblical creation of women from Adam's rib, claiming men invented this to take credit. A meek man agrees—but says she was made from an umbrella's rib instead. The joke mocks both feminist rhetoric and male condescension. **"Frozen"**: A romantic poet compliments a woman's "frozen" beauty; she coldly rejects his advances, taking his metaphors literally. **"If at First You Don't Succeed"**: A man boasts of persistence in courting "Chloe" despite fourteen rejections. These pieces satirize contemporary social debates (women's rights), courtship customs, and human vanity through gentle, pun-based humor typical of Edwardian-era Judge magazine.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HIS PROBLEM. ES, sir,” said Mr. Gil- lingberry; “1 guess I've got one of the in- tellectualest families in these parts —al- ways takin’ up with something that calls for the exercise of the mental powers to their utmost.” + Is that so?” po- litely murmured the other man. * You bet. Now, there's mother, She's up-stairs this mornin’ with a set o' news- paper puzzle-pictures, an’ if she solves ‘em an’ writes a good se- rial story to go along with ‘em she gets at least a dollar; an‘ my daughter Lizzie is coverin’ the dinin’ room floor with sheets o' paper that she’s been figurin' on tryin’ to find out how old Ann is; an’ Henry, he’s deter- mined to work the pigs-in-clover puzzle with three shakes an'a wriggle of his hand ; an’ Jim—that's Jim over by the fence—he's studyin’ up a new way to work the fifteen puzzle. He's worked on that for ten years an’ thinks he's pretty near got it.” * But you—what problein are you devoted to?" “Who—me? My problem? Oh, I work out the puzzle of keepin’ the family together.” AT FIRST SIGHT. THE lady orator, a tall and angular female, was holding forth on the equality of the sexes and the rights of woman, A GREAT SUFFICIENCY. a ‘ Mrs. Youncnus— He hasn't taken his wife anywhere since they were married.”’ “ Made from a rib!" she cried. “It Mr. Younctus—“'No. Since he took her for better or worse he seems to think he has taken her enough." is a canard devised by wicked men. Now, do I look as if I had been made froma rib? Dol? Can any- Here a small, unimportant-looking man rose and bowed and said body say that I was?) What kind of a rib was | made of? I pause gently, for a reply, if there be one.” “Yes'm; I think you was made from a rib.” + You do?” she retorted, shaking a lean finger in his direction ; “you do? You are another of the men who wish to claim credit for everything, are you? And so you think I was made from the rib of a man?” “No'm,” was the solemn answer; “ from the rib of an umbrella.” FROZEN. ‘ SY OUR arms,” he said, ‘‘are white as snow 5 Your eyes are clearer than pure ice ; Your teeth have all the silvered glow Of frosts that pocts’ dreams entice.”” Her eyes assumed a freezing stare ; She gave her chin a little lift, And said, with calm and chilling air, “ T fear I do not catch your drift.”” “IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED ”— Colonel Puffer— Lorenzo, | hear that you and Chloe are going to marry. vmmagy: T thought she refused you.” OCT Oh Lorenzo—* "Deed she did, kunnel— Novetist—" What will you charge me for advertising my new novel?” done ‘fused: me| fob’teen {times :. butis Pustister— One thousand dollars—and fifty dollars extra if | read the novel."* bin persistenous, sah. comicbooks.com