Judge, 1903-10-24 · page 10 of 16
Judge — October 24, 1903 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humorous sketches typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **"Sweet-Toothed Cyril"** mocks a man obsessively praising candy and sweets in overwrought language, a satire of affected speech and absurd enthusiasms. **"The Wrong Simile"** satirizes a fortune-hunter courting a wealthy but overweight heiress. When he romantically declares she is "all the world," she insults him by retorting that the equator (Earth's widest point) is larger—a cruel joke about her weight. The satire targets both his transparent mercenary motives and her defensive hostility. **"Why He Fled"** jokes that a man rehearsing an oration will abandon it instantly when his wife asks him to fire the cook—satirizing domestic conflict and male avoidance. **"The Real Effort"** mocks young women's contradictory social performance: they strain to appear effortlessly attractive rather than trying, creating exhausting pretense. The red-trimmed hat girl's struggle is "harder" because she must hide her effort to hide her effort. These sketches reflect period preoccupations with courtship, class anxiety, and gender performance.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SWEET-TOOTHED CYRIL. "M. fond of sweets, T'd have you know ; pickled beets Cause me to throw va A hand-spring that Is very fine, By ‘As doth the fat, Big peach in wine. (the cherry red L, And olive green ). Make, be it said, My mind serene. Because to beat ) The band, I trow, I've naught but sweet Teeth, don't you know. THE WRONG SIMILE. | HE KNEELS at the feet of the heiress. i > -Now, in order to make plain what is to follow, let ] us state that the heiress weighs three hundred pounds. True love, however, we will concede for the sake of argu- ment, knows no waist-lines. And no woman is ever so fat as her fortune. Therefore, to proceed, messieurs. He kneels, as we have previously said, at the feet of the heiress. \| * You are all the world to me!" he exclaims. i «What ?" she pants. “You wretch! are you aware of ) the fact that the equator is the largest diameter of the j world ?* In vain does he argue that the equator is an imaginary line. This only makes it worse. pis cORtY eee Metaphorically, she sits down on him; metaphorical igs, Feepeu—"' So you used to be an actor? How did you happen to become a tramp?” ly, he is crushed. Weary Rarries—" Well, I got tired uv goin’ hungry.”” WHY HE FLED. THE REAL EFFORT. DEMOSTHENES was rehearsing at his home one of his most bril- ¢4]T IS very hard,” says the girl with the new fall suit, « for a girl liant orations. not to appear to be trying to attract attention.” " Yes,” said his wife; that's very fine. Now, won't you just step “It is a great deal harder,” asserts the girl with the red-trimmed i out and discharge the cook ?” hat," for her to attract attention and give the appearance of not trying Suddenly remembering an engagement down town, he fled from to make an effort to have it appear that she is not trying to attract } the house with fear upon his face. attention.” \ Wy’ Y fiji f! HIS REASON. Mrs. Newtrwe—"' John, I think baby wants to go to sleep.” Ma: Newrwto—"Then why don't he? Me Mas. Newurwe>—“* Well, | think perhaps he suspects that you would like to go to sleep, too.”” comicbooks.com