Judge — September 19, 1903 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN ARTISTIC REVELATION. LL the things that bob and blow in the blooming mead In wild ecstasy I paint, for the scads I need. Oft I paint the golden-rod on the earthen jug ; On the tambourine I paint butterfly and bug. As this is the kind of art that ne‘er fetches fame, On my airy splashes ne'er do I put my name. For I have a level head, and whene’er I whizz In the holy name of art it is purely biz. While I have an appetite big to satisfy With the oyster and the prune and the fleeting pie I will paint the sort of stuff that corrals the gold, That about the said layout I myself may fold And proclaim unto the world e’er I'll be a go— I, old Botticelli Mike Titian Angelo. SHOULD BE EQUALIZED. ECKONING the waiter, the guest says, “I see on the menu that this house charges extra for one order served to two guest: “Yes, sir,” answers the deferential waiter. “Well, do you make any reduction for two orders served to one guest ?” “Then I shall proceed to inform the manager of this gross injustice. It seems to me that the rule ought to work both ways.” JUDGE'S FAVORITES. SARAH BOYD. Pray let us remark that, with bliss unalloyed, ‘The people will sit while they list to Miss Boyd: And ‘neath the sweet spell of her presence will they All shout In a tone that is happy and gay, “* Oh, she is the star of the bright sky iene ‘Whose rays shine in ‘ Darkness and Daylight’ the same!" HIS CHANCE. 46REFORE marriage,” asserted the soft-spoken, epi- grammatic lecturer, “woman is an ideal; after marriage she is a fact.” At this point there was an interruption by Henry Pen- hecker, who had been compelled to attend the lecture in company with his intellectual wife. Mr. Penhecker, real- izing that he was safe in a crowd, jumped to his feet and cried, * And facts are stubborn things !" A GOOD REASON. Mrs. Penhecker, it may be said, had the heartfelt sym- “Say, Weary, & youse low dert’s times when 1 Jest can't denk & drop?" pathy of most of the audience, as Mr. Penhetker and the “Why when Lait goteetie terathke lecturer were almost the only men present. CAN IT BE? HE two Russian belles afe dis- cussing their mutaal friends. “And there is Rosiekoff Dimitriskewatchiskebooliske- vitch,” says the first girl «1 such a sweet thing! And don’t you think her name is beautiful ?” “Oh, yes,” concedes the second, “ But Ihave heard=now don't you whisper this toa soulI have heard that her name isn't all her own.” “Mercy! What do you mean ?” “Tt is hinted that she wears an artifi- cial skevitch.” Kind fates preserve a8! If the ladies in other parts of the world begin amplify- ing their names as they do their h: never shall know whether a lady is really possessed of the aristocratic cognomen en- graved upon her cards, or is simply a plain Smith, jones, or Brown. 46] SEE you have my picture,” said the oT it ———- l bishop of a newly-erected diocese to Ce, AF IE Che ewwe the wife of one of his rectors. “a Noe “Yes, bishop,” replied the lady with a DID YOU EVER SAY IT YOURSELF? fle. # i Mr. Counrrizsone>—“‘ Oh, isn't It sublime to be away from all cares and bustle, to lle here, drinkin; smile. “hope to have a large collection 45 ts ozone arid the rontle lowtng of the cattle and the singing of tte birds? But I'd gtve about fourtecs of pictures of bishops of our dear diocese.” dollars to be under an electric fan on little old Broadway, with a high-ball in front of me.’ comicbooks.com